Let's talk about the V. I almost feel like I'm about to be blogging about true blood or something!!! LMAO!! That would be cool too!! Hopefully this is just as cool. To be continued.....
Aaaaaannd we're back. Bait and switch babay!! Last time I blogged I wanted to get knee deep in that triangle between the youth, the mom, and Desi and I still do. However, I was thinking about it and it's really more of a V than a triangle. The Mom and Desi never interact, they are the tips of the V. The youth is the point of the V, the prick if you will ;) and he is a little prick, to both of these ladies. He never says it but he loves them both and they surely love him. It's awesome how similar the relationships are concerning the Mom and Youth & Desi and the Youth. They both try to teach him the same lesson in their own way. Mom says "Love is more real than a dream" Desi sings "My love is more real than all your dreams." He hears them both but doesn't really listen. The roles they play in his life really reflect his growth and his plateau for that matter. These characters all speak to me. Each in their own way.
Let's start with Mom! The Mom represents my family's everlasting love for me. All the things the Mom does my family has done. She preaches to him. He can't stand it. She doesn't "understand" him. She tries to teach him quality lessons. He runs from it. He doesn't want her real, he wants his real. "Why are normal everyday things like sheer agony for you?" youth replies with "'Cuz normal everyday things are phony. Why do I have to change?" In those two sentences alone you see how the mom lives her life...routinely. You see how the youth feels about that and what he'd love to do about it. When the Youth acts a fool in church the Mom says "Do you want these people thinking I've raised a heathen?" the Youth lets her know "I'm not like you! I don't care what they think." Rebel youth! Oh so immature, oh so selfish, oh so headstrong. I love these lyrics, there are mothers everywhere who have felt the exact same way...It's breaking you heart, his questioning of everything. Unannounced, he's flown out from under your wing. I'm hardly afraid of your new world's strange design. Why don't you make room for me, as I made room for you in mine. All Mom's probably feel this way when their child is coming into their own. The youth's mind is made up. He must fulfill his destiny. He's going to Europe, and not just to visit, He's moving there for good. Some of my favorite scenes occur between the Mom and the Youth. In the European avant-garde cinema scene you get a complete breakdown of the struggle between the two. My granny and I have shared similar scenarios. He stands strong on his mission "My dream is to live as an artist" She lets him know "Love is more real than a dream" here comes the rebuttal "You torture me with love, when what I need is understanding." Jeesh, that's kinda harsh to say to ur mom, but at 15 I'm sure I've said worse!! 100% certain. The Mom reminds me so much of my Granny. Good spirited, loving, christian, organized, full of love for me. She has instilled things in me that I will never depart from and that I've run from faster than she can say listening is waiting. Her intent is always the best and sometimes she doesn't understand me at all. But I know she loves me and she keeps me aloft. Youth goes abroad, Mom stays home. In a home that once was theirs, just the two of them. That's a loneliness I know nothing of. I'm not a mom and so I can't personally relate with how that must feel. I empathize more and more the older I get. I will forever be their child. Love like that can't be measured.
The Youth, I relate to in so many ways on a personal level. I've shied away from religion, I've found myself in music, I've run from home in search of my real. I've hurt my family just by being me and who I am. I've lost friends and lovers over time while shedding my cocoon. I have discovered that I am an artist, and it is my dream to live as an artist. When the youth says certain things I'm shaking my head like you selfish little immature prick. At the same time I have felt and do feel the way that he does at various points in my life. I was so rebellious as a teenager. I wanted nothing but to go in search of my own ideas and so when my parents tried to tell me what I should do or who I should be I really didn't want to hear it. I felt like the Youth felt....why should I have to change? To fit your mold? I want my own mold. I did what I wanted to do, I didn't care that it was breaking their hearts to see me run from what they built for me. Well, I now realize that I was just immature and selfish. I didn't put others before myself. My love was shallow, my focus was on living how I wanted to live. Their love was deep, their whole lives transformed around their love for me and making my life the best it could be. That focus became more real than whatever dreams they had to put on hold. Sacrifice, maturity, love, now that's real. Times are changing. I'm not nearly as selfish as I used to be and a great deal of that can be attributed to the fact that I'm not nearly as young as I used to be. HEYO! These lines in the show regarding youth really hit home for me "the only truth of youth, is the grown-up consequences." and "someday the chords of age will drown out the life you've been dreaming of." So. True. youth is fleeting, love is everlasting. I enjoy the Youth's journey and the subtle transformations he goes through. It's like looking in the mirror a little bit and that's so rare and so nice.
Ms. Desi that is, Desi Desi that is, she was a left-wing love machine. Can you dig it? YES I CAN! I <3 Desi. I like her swagger. I like her irresistible mind. Desi is the character that I play for the longest amount of time. She is the character that I relate to the most when it comes to my love life. "She had a long awaited answer for the emptiness you feel, she called it revolution, she told him only love is real." She drops mad knowledge on the youth. Listening is waiting, he takes from it what he will. In so many ways I also believe that only Love is real. I feel love, I give love, I crave love. I have loved and lost, and I will never ever give up on love. It's one of those things you can't buy, or touch, or even explain sometimes but that is so powerful. Love will make you do unseemly things. I was in a relationship for a long while full of ups and downs. Full of lies, full of love. Full of contradictory emotions. In my way I was Desi pleading to the youth to remove that mask. Let me in. Want what I want, feel how I feel, ask me, so that I can give you everything. In his way he was the youth. He didn't see the point of love without understanding....although I thought I understood more than I did. Where I felt only love is real, he felt, it's not love if somebody had to change. Love was not his number one priority, he would be changing his entire focus in order to give me what I want. It hurts to be denied what you want, but it would hurt more to partake in one sided pretending and so I can respect that. Sometimes you've gotta just step back and say "O.K." and let life take it's course. The older I get the better I understand love. I've heard this a billion times and usually shrug it off but this is very true..."Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." That makes me feel like love is the key to immortality!! That makes me respect love and only seek real love. To hold on tight to the real love my family has provided for me and continue to provide me time and time again. :) Desi rocks and I'm so happy to get to portray her. She is a big girl, she allows herself to be vulnerable, if she gets hurt, she will shake it off and become no more bitter because of it. I like that and now that's my plan, Stan.
Whenever I'm involved in a show I try to find something to personally relate to the character I'm playing. Sometimes it's hard. In this case it's been hard to not ramble on and on about how relatable every character is!! It's special, it's rare, it's real. We are off book now and so it's time to get serious and to play a lot too! You can definitely act better without a script in your hand to get in the way. When the band comes in to play, when the lights go up and down, and all those other performance enhancers hit the scene....MAGIC will happen. Man, I seem to mention magic in like every blog and I'm NOT a fan of magic. I mean I guess I am if it's used for good... but it's magic and so it's too easy to be tricked into thinking it's good, but it very well may not be. Alright that's enough about magic and trickery and tom foolery!! Let's talk about something real....THIS SHOW KICKS ASS!! And it keeps getting better!! I think I have my look for the first act and the second act too!! Get. Excited. I am!! The audience is right around the corner, and I love to see the looks on peoples faces. I can't wait!! I want to thrill you!! The only thing I don't want to see is you sleeping, but if your 75+ I'm okay with it because I think your adorable, and I understand....ur just old and it's probs waaaaaaaay past your bed time!! LOL!! Can't wait to get my nursing home up and running. I can just imagine the mayhem at other adult care facilities when their residents find out they could be at the coolest nursing home in town. Water beds, Jacuzzis, jello shots, speed dating, ice-cream socials, Vegas style weddings and entertainment!! HOLLA!! My only stipulation is that you have to check yourself in :) The guy sleeping in the front row wouldn't make the cut, but the red hat lady cracking up with the pearls...yea she's in! Okay, I've lost all train of thought. It's time to call it quits. I'm sure you guys read these sometimes and are like what the hell, but I just wanna say thanks for reading :)
8.25.2011
Strip your mind naked, pilgrim.
HELL YEA ACT II!! It's already been broughten!! Yea, I went there, I'm a dork like that...love me, not your idea of me ;) I will cherish this experience always!! Act II is when things get heavy, when it starts to feel real. This is where the youth learns the lessons he will take with him beyond his youth. He will take with him...."what's inside is just a lie" and "only love is real". He will create his true self. The key to "the real" will finally be in his hands. What will he do with it? Is it a master key? Act II helps complete established lessons. Brings about "real" lessons. Tests if he's ready.
Berlin...that's where we are for pretty much all of Act II. The setting is a complete shift from the setting of Act I. Amsterdam spring sunshine, L.A. the sun shines every day of the year. Berlin was ugly, cold, and cracked...the snow was all about. Although the weather was waaaaay nicer in the first act, the bleak weather in the second act is more fitting. the more concrete the "real" becomes...the bleaker things become. Makes sense after all. The real is not all happy, happy, joy, joy....sometimes it's damp and dark and cold. Sometimes it's an ugly truth. Things have got to be bad from time to time in order to recognize what makes you feel good. Like the youth says during "Stoned" in Act I...."It's like I can't get too comfortable. Otherwise I'll forget all the shit there is to complain about." "It's hard to write songs when your already in paradise". "Paradise is a bore." He realized that world was not his 'paradise' after all. Goodbye sex, drugs, and rock & roll!! That truly was a ton of fun. Indeed there will still be sex, there will still be drugs, there will still be rock and roll. But, it'll become more like...Making love, experimental escapes via drugs, and performance art. Sure, that doesn't have the same ring to it, but it's as real as ever!!
He continued on his journey to find "the real". Berlin: A black hole with Taxis. Berlin: A forest of sharp corners. Berlin: Swallowed if harmful. It was two miles from right, it was always all night. As soon as he hits the scene he's hit in the face with a RIOT!! Oh "May Day"!! I just love it!! I get so AMP. I don't know what it is about this song...well, I guess I do. I love that it sounds and feels like 90's house music!! It is the reason "Du Hast" is on my 'Passing Strange' play list. It sets the scene and introduces some wild characters. Individuals. Hugo, bitter music critic. Sudabey, post-modern pornographer and social critic. Mr. Venus, a. performance. artist. And Desi, the den mother and social engineer. This is the Nowhaus gang. Desi is the founder. "We wish to create an anti-bourgeois living community, that stands in opposition to capitalist society". Heavy huh? Waaaaaaay heavier than "We just had sex." Nowhaus was not looking for "the real", and they wouldn't hesitate to let Mr. youth know. They will all force valuable lessons upon him. Listening is waiting, he will take from it, what he will.
The youth has been on his own for quite some time now. Having a blast, creating, experimenting, destroying. He has matured a bit. He is developing a better understanding of "the real". He's still as selfish as ever. Has he learned any lessons? A while back he discovered his love of music. That love still reigns supreme. He's been writing songs. It is not until he is introduced to performance art that he learns...."the only way to become your true self, is to create your true self." He is born again here in Berlin. His chains have been broken. He is head strong. He goes full-force. He will conform to no one. He is more hurtful than ever.
I love Act II. A lot of things come back around full circle. Much how life is...every 7 years some say. That sort of fits here as well...the youth was about 14-15 when he first discovered himself as an artist to this point in the story, when he's about 22....hmmmm...STRANGE!! He gets struck with another musical revelation, no where near a church this time around. Thanks to Mr. Venus he's developed from cheesy pop song maker to a twisted poet. Edwina's jaw would hit the floor if she saw how much he "blackened up" for "the black one". If she could see just how much soul he put in his stroll, she. would. drop. dead. But, it's phony now just like it would have been phony then. He gets a first time high once again, but this time it's a heavier drug...take a guess at what it might be....if u guessed COKE...ding! ding! ding! Bring on the revelations and epiphanies! The Scaryotypes...pssssshhh...he doesn't need a band this time around, no sirree, he has created Mr. Middle Passage! Fuck that fishbowl, he has a stage. In Act I, you heard the Mom pour her heart out. You listened to her beg the youth to make room for her in his life. The youth asked "why do I have to change?" In Act II, another woman who loves him asks him to "come down now." "Remove your mask." His ultimate response..."it's not love if somebody has to change." He didn't see the point of love without understanding then, and he still does not to this day. Some things change, some things remain the same.
I will have to dedicate an entire blog to the triangle between the Mom, the Youth, and Desi. The relationship between them is like somebody ripped the pages out of the book of my life. My Mom has felt that way, because of me. I as a young person have been this selfish. I as a lover have felt this way on both ends...why should I have to change and my love is more real than all your dreams...ask me. I could go on and on but that would defeat the purpose of blogging about this later. LOL. I want to HUG STEW!! He can't possibly know how much this piece of work has touched my heart. How thankful I am to get to express the way I've felt, in ways that I couldn't imagine!! It's as if he's taken my life's journal, read it, deciphered the parts I left out, spied on me and my future self, figured out what kind of music I liked and made a play to tell me everything I need to know. WOW!! Are you really a magician Stew, because that will make me a bit hesitant to hug you....just sayin!! I probs still would though because I know full well, you have used your magic for good!! By creating this masterpiece Stew has painted pictures of my life and has given me the opportunity to express it in a way I love so much performance art. A story of an artist, written by an artist, performed by artists. Exquisite, like an orgasm in reverse.
Berlin...that's where we are for pretty much all of Act II. The setting is a complete shift from the setting of Act I. Amsterdam spring sunshine, L.A. the sun shines every day of the year. Berlin was ugly, cold, and cracked...the snow was all about. Although the weather was waaaaay nicer in the first act, the bleak weather in the second act is more fitting. the more concrete the "real" becomes...the bleaker things become. Makes sense after all. The real is not all happy, happy, joy, joy....sometimes it's damp and dark and cold. Sometimes it's an ugly truth. Things have got to be bad from time to time in order to recognize what makes you feel good. Like the youth says during "Stoned" in Act I...."It's like I can't get too comfortable. Otherwise I'll forget all the shit there is to complain about." "It's hard to write songs when your already in paradise". "Paradise is a bore." He realized that world was not his 'paradise' after all. Goodbye sex, drugs, and rock & roll!! That truly was a ton of fun. Indeed there will still be sex, there will still be drugs, there will still be rock and roll. But, it'll become more like...Making love, experimental escapes via drugs, and performance art. Sure, that doesn't have the same ring to it, but it's as real as ever!!
He continued on his journey to find "the real". Berlin: A black hole with Taxis. Berlin: A forest of sharp corners. Berlin: Swallowed if harmful. It was two miles from right, it was always all night. As soon as he hits the scene he's hit in the face with a RIOT!! Oh "May Day"!! I just love it!! I get so AMP. I don't know what it is about this song...well, I guess I do. I love that it sounds and feels like 90's house music!! It is the reason "Du Hast" is on my 'Passing Strange' play list. It sets the scene and introduces some wild characters. Individuals. Hugo, bitter music critic. Sudabey, post-modern pornographer and social critic. Mr. Venus, a. performance. artist. And Desi, the den mother and social engineer. This is the Nowhaus gang. Desi is the founder. "We wish to create an anti-bourgeois living community, that stands in opposition to capitalist society". Heavy huh? Waaaaaaay heavier than "We just had sex." Nowhaus was not looking for "the real", and they wouldn't hesitate to let Mr. youth know. They will all force valuable lessons upon him. Listening is waiting, he will take from it, what he will.
The youth has been on his own for quite some time now. Having a blast, creating, experimenting, destroying. He has matured a bit. He is developing a better understanding of "the real". He's still as selfish as ever. Has he learned any lessons? A while back he discovered his love of music. That love still reigns supreme. He's been writing songs. It is not until he is introduced to performance art that he learns...."the only way to become your true self, is to create your true self." He is born again here in Berlin. His chains have been broken. He is head strong. He goes full-force. He will conform to no one. He is more hurtful than ever.
I love Act II. A lot of things come back around full circle. Much how life is...every 7 years some say. That sort of fits here as well...the youth was about 14-15 when he first discovered himself as an artist to this point in the story, when he's about 22....hmmmm...STRANGE!! He gets struck with another musical revelation, no where near a church this time around. Thanks to Mr. Venus he's developed from cheesy pop song maker to a twisted poet. Edwina's jaw would hit the floor if she saw how much he "blackened up" for "the black one". If she could see just how much soul he put in his stroll, she. would. drop. dead. But, it's phony now just like it would have been phony then. He gets a first time high once again, but this time it's a heavier drug...take a guess at what it might be....if u guessed COKE...ding! ding! ding! Bring on the revelations and epiphanies! The Scaryotypes...pssssshhh...he doesn't need a band this time around, no sirree, he has created Mr. Middle Passage! Fuck that fishbowl, he has a stage. In Act I, you heard the Mom pour her heart out. You listened to her beg the youth to make room for her in his life. The youth asked "why do I have to change?" In Act II, another woman who loves him asks him to "come down now." "Remove your mask." His ultimate response..."it's not love if somebody has to change." He didn't see the point of love without understanding then, and he still does not to this day. Some things change, some things remain the same.
I will have to dedicate an entire blog to the triangle between the Mom, the Youth, and Desi. The relationship between them is like somebody ripped the pages out of the book of my life. My Mom has felt that way, because of me. I as a young person have been this selfish. I as a lover have felt this way on both ends...why should I have to change and my love is more real than all your dreams...ask me. I could go on and on but that would defeat the purpose of blogging about this later. LOL. I want to HUG STEW!! He can't possibly know how much this piece of work has touched my heart. How thankful I am to get to express the way I've felt, in ways that I couldn't imagine!! It's as if he's taken my life's journal, read it, deciphered the parts I left out, spied on me and my future self, figured out what kind of music I liked and made a play to tell me everything I need to know. WOW!! Are you really a magician Stew, because that will make me a bit hesitant to hug you....just sayin!! I probs still would though because I know full well, you have used your magic for good!! By creating this masterpiece Stew has painted pictures of my life and has given me the opportunity to express it in a way I love so much performance art. A story of an artist, written by an artist, performed by artists. Exquisite, like an orgasm in reverse.
8.19.2011
it's all cool breezy baby
10 days!! Really. It's been 10 days since I've last blogged. That's a shame. Oh well, don't live in the past...revel in the present and look forward to the future, since my birthday is 10 days from now aaaaaand we will be in the space 10 days from now!! :) OMG!! This process is flying by!! I am so happy, although I work 9 hour days and go straight from work, to rehearsal, to bed, to work, to rehearsal...lather, rinse, repeat!! When I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind, I breathe it all in and remember that all this 'mayhem' keeps me stimulated, vigorous, satisfied, grateful. I love what I do. Whenever I get to express my creativity I feel liberated. I. can't. imagine. my. life. without. art! Looking back, I've always been an artist. Whether it be cooking, interior design, fashion, I have always craved art! Performance art has most definitely stepped out front and center these days!! I love to perform, it's so fulfilling! Especially when it thrills others and makes an impact! 'Passing Strange' is a joy!! A priceless experience for me as an artist. It allows me to impact and thrill and so much more. On top of that, I'm living the story I'm telling, which is so rare. I am mos def a lost soul, searching for the "real", but this experience has been like a cheat sheet for me. Things I have questioned before, I don't question anymore. Absolutely priceless....and oh so pleasurable too might I add ;)
Stew is a brilliant poetic magician and I just can't get enough! Ask people who know me well enough to know my quirky fears/apprehensions and they will tell you....I don't F with magicians, but in this case it's 100% okay. ;) I will be an apprentice to Stew's magicianry any day!! This show is so harmonious. The music and the lyrics are like cake and ice-cream....quite delicious separately, but put them together and you've got yourself a party!! The earworms are so catchy not only in musical setup and lyrics but in the way it transports your emotional status. They put you at ease one moment and prick you like a needle the next. Three words, three notes can grab your full attention. That's exactly what "listening is waiting" has done for us strange-ers. One night after rehearsal, Scott asked us what "listening is waiting" means. I try to always keep this in mind: Never forget the message you received and always be perceptive of the message others receive. "Listening is waiting" has always stood out to me and the message I received was that something you need to listen to is waiting on you to listen. Another perspective on that little earworm was more like listening = waiting. Active (listening, as opposed to hearing) is passive (waiting). I can dig that too. I however feel that it's more so like this....Listening is waiting, so listen. Listening is waiting, pay attention. listen....informal....to convey a particular impression to the hearer; sound: The new recording doesn't listen as well as the old one. You can take that and say the recording is a 'listening' and if that 'listening' is waiting then I'd think it was waiting on you, to listen. When I have asked people what does listening is waiting mean to them they usually say right off the bat...shut up and listen. The way the melody is sung even sounds like a lovely announcement chime. Intentionally so, to send your mind into listening mode. I could talk about this forever and a day but I'll let good ol' Facebook lay this one to rest(LOL). After rehearsal, Andrea's status update was "listening is waiting" and the first comment was, "what are you listening to." Exactly. Listening is waiting, take from it what you will. That's how I would sum up how "listening is waiting" is meant to be taken in the show. Once again Stew, you and your magic....cool breezy one moment and knee-deep in our footnotes the next. Now that's some magic I want to be a part of.
Since we're on the subject of magic, let's talk about where the magic happens....BLOCKING!! We've completely BLOCKED and RAN Act 1 since I've last blogged. It's officially a full body experience!! No more sitting in chairs and singing. We are singing and moving with purpose. It's so important to know what that purpose is and what it means to you. In my view, that's the key to honest delivery. Direction is also key. To have a director that knows precisely what he wants is fantastic. To have a director that expects you to exercise your right to artistic freedom is that much greater. To have a director with keen discernment, that makes for non-stop high quality. During 'Evita' I remember trying to visualize how the whole chair thing would work out and imagining it looking so incredibly awkward! In the end it was the best part of the structure of the show. Oh gosh how could I ever forget "Rolling on in" during 'Evita'. We 86'd a few Miller-ography routines before we got where we needed to be, but Scott always used that discernment to work it out. I trust him. Nowadays if I think something may look like WTF I just go for it because I know that if he sees it and it truly does look like WTF, he will alter his vision and make it work. Blocking is always fun. Sometimes it's more than what I imagined it would be. Sometimes it's not at all what I thought it would be....don't get me started on "we just had sex"... but I mean, I imagined the cha-cha and a possible ring around the rosie segment.... so yea, that didn't happen : /
I thought things went pretty smoothly during the run. I tested out my accent and nobody laughed and so that was exciting. I'm gonna keep working on it day by day. It was cool to travel so many different places and become so many different people. I was lovin it!! Plastic land L.A. to Amsterdam spring sunshine. Some things didn't go my way, I was disappointed, I got over it. I still can't decide who's my fav. I get to go from normal chick in the family band, to Mrs. Kelso, to Sherry, to Renata. It's fun to play, it's fun to pretend. I brought a scarf and some other things with me to rehearsal to get used to transforming in an instant. With the scarf it's a toss up between Sherry and Mrs. Kelso for my fav. Mrs. Kelso is one of those random characters, just in the scene for a bit but I'm having so much fun bringing her to life. Sherry rocks!! I dig her attitude and personality!! It's kind of awkward to me because I've decided Mrs. Kelso is either Sherry's Mom or Aunt so maybe I don't have to decide...I can give the title to Renata who is also the bees knees. :) that scarf really helped me!! I could tie it a million different ways and quickly look like a different person, portray a different attitude with comfort and ease. It was a lot of fun! I have no idea what costumes will be like, I'm assuming minimal though. We all had a blast running Act 1!! We laughed, we doubted, we wailed, we debated, we delivered. I love this cast!! We get closer and closer every rehearsal. Precious moments.
This show is all about "the real" and so our portrayals have got to be more than real, after all, this is art. I love that the narrator is so natural. This is his story of his journey as an artist, through his eyes. He has made every character real. Some more real than others, some making a bigger impact on his life, but all real in their way. All playing a part of the gospel of a youth's journey to find "the real". I feel all of us strange-ers relate to the youth in some way and have gone through similar conflicts. He will be overwhelmed with "real" experiences. He will be loved, he will break hearts. He will lose, he will win, he will find what he's been searching for. We get to play along.....HOLLA!! 'Passing Strange' closed July 2008 it's August 2011 how cool is that!! This is refreshing. Musical theatre like nothing else. Bring on Act 2....then full runs....EEEEEEEEEE!!!
Stew is a brilliant poetic magician and I just can't get enough! Ask people who know me well enough to know my quirky fears/apprehensions and they will tell you....I don't F with magicians, but in this case it's 100% okay. ;) I will be an apprentice to Stew's magicianry any day!! This show is so harmonious. The music and the lyrics are like cake and ice-cream....quite delicious separately, but put them together and you've got yourself a party!! The earworms are so catchy not only in musical setup and lyrics but in the way it transports your emotional status. They put you at ease one moment and prick you like a needle the next. Three words, three notes can grab your full attention. That's exactly what "listening is waiting" has done for us strange-ers. One night after rehearsal, Scott asked us what "listening is waiting" means. I try to always keep this in mind: Never forget the message you received and always be perceptive of the message others receive. "Listening is waiting" has always stood out to me and the message I received was that something you need to listen to is waiting on you to listen. Another perspective on that little earworm was more like listening = waiting. Active (listening, as opposed to hearing) is passive (waiting). I can dig that too. I however feel that it's more so like this....Listening is waiting, so listen. Listening is waiting, pay attention. listen....informal....to convey a particular impression to the hearer; sound: The new recording doesn't listen as well as the old one. You can take that and say the recording is a 'listening' and if that 'listening' is waiting then I'd think it was waiting on you, to listen. When I have asked people what does listening is waiting mean to them they usually say right off the bat...shut up and listen. The way the melody is sung even sounds like a lovely announcement chime. Intentionally so, to send your mind into listening mode. I could talk about this forever and a day but I'll let good ol' Facebook lay this one to rest(LOL). After rehearsal, Andrea's status update was "listening is waiting" and the first comment was, "what are you listening to." Exactly. Listening is waiting, take from it what you will. That's how I would sum up how "listening is waiting" is meant to be taken in the show. Once again Stew, you and your magic....cool breezy one moment and knee-deep in our footnotes the next. Now that's some magic I want to be a part of.
Since we're on the subject of magic, let's talk about where the magic happens....BLOCKING!! We've completely BLOCKED and RAN Act 1 since I've last blogged. It's officially a full body experience!! No more sitting in chairs and singing. We are singing and moving with purpose. It's so important to know what that purpose is and what it means to you. In my view, that's the key to honest delivery. Direction is also key. To have a director that knows precisely what he wants is fantastic. To have a director that expects you to exercise your right to artistic freedom is that much greater. To have a director with keen discernment, that makes for non-stop high quality. During 'Evita' I remember trying to visualize how the whole chair thing would work out and imagining it looking so incredibly awkward! In the end it was the best part of the structure of the show. Oh gosh how could I ever forget "Rolling on in" during 'Evita'. We 86'd a few Miller-ography routines before we got where we needed to be, but Scott always used that discernment to work it out. I trust him. Nowadays if I think something may look like WTF I just go for it because I know that if he sees it and it truly does look like WTF, he will alter his vision and make it work. Blocking is always fun. Sometimes it's more than what I imagined it would be. Sometimes it's not at all what I thought it would be....don't get me started on "we just had sex"... but I mean, I imagined the cha-cha and a possible ring around the rosie segment.... so yea, that didn't happen : /
I thought things went pretty smoothly during the run. I tested out my accent and nobody laughed and so that was exciting. I'm gonna keep working on it day by day. It was cool to travel so many different places and become so many different people. I was lovin it!! Plastic land L.A. to Amsterdam spring sunshine. Some things didn't go my way, I was disappointed, I got over it. I still can't decide who's my fav. I get to go from normal chick in the family band, to Mrs. Kelso, to Sherry, to Renata. It's fun to play, it's fun to pretend. I brought a scarf and some other things with me to rehearsal to get used to transforming in an instant. With the scarf it's a toss up between Sherry and Mrs. Kelso for my fav. Mrs. Kelso is one of those random characters, just in the scene for a bit but I'm having so much fun bringing her to life. Sherry rocks!! I dig her attitude and personality!! It's kind of awkward to me because I've decided Mrs. Kelso is either Sherry's Mom or Aunt so maybe I don't have to decide...I can give the title to Renata who is also the bees knees. :) that scarf really helped me!! I could tie it a million different ways and quickly look like a different person, portray a different attitude with comfort and ease. It was a lot of fun! I have no idea what costumes will be like, I'm assuming minimal though. We all had a blast running Act 1!! We laughed, we doubted, we wailed, we debated, we delivered. I love this cast!! We get closer and closer every rehearsal. Precious moments.
This show is all about "the real" and so our portrayals have got to be more than real, after all, this is art. I love that the narrator is so natural. This is his story of his journey as an artist, through his eyes. He has made every character real. Some more real than others, some making a bigger impact on his life, but all real in their way. All playing a part of the gospel of a youth's journey to find "the real". I feel all of us strange-ers relate to the youth in some way and have gone through similar conflicts. He will be overwhelmed with "real" experiences. He will be loved, he will break hearts. He will lose, he will win, he will find what he's been searching for. We get to play along.....HOLLA!! 'Passing Strange' closed July 2008 it's August 2011 how cool is that!! This is refreshing. Musical theatre like nothing else. Bring on Act 2....then full runs....EEEEEEEEEE!!!
8.09.2011
It's starting to feel real
Sunday evening we all got together to share the 'Passing Strange' experience at Charles and Nikki's place. Nikki is such a great host and did a fantastic job of making us feel welcome and comfy and full :) Thanks Nikki!! A few of us hadn't seen the film in it's entirety and I know it helped connect scenes with music and lyrics. It was so cool watching the movie with everyone humming along. To feel the emotion stir up in the room. I was taking notes whenever I wasn't completely entranced. The one thing that lives throughout this entire show is ENERGY ENERGY ENERGY!!! Larger than life yet so believable. Every single person is so invested and that much more committed to the story they are living. I admire that. I want to spark that same energy within me. However, I don't think I'm going to watch the film anymore. I don't want to begin to sculpt my character around the way Rebecca Naomi Jones sculpted hers. I don't want to have the exact same inflections or accents or emotional responses. I don't want to copy and paste, I want to live the story through MY eyes. It's easy to imitate, it's harder to craft. Well, I made up my mind a long time ago....I'm a craftsman!! I've taken what I need from the film and now I'm ready to start making it my own.
I'm still holding back and I've gotta knock it off because time, as always, is not on my side. We only have weeks to get this together. The original cast had years of performing together by the time the film was produced. I am extremely intimidated, but more than that I'm capable!! I have been truly moved by this show and so I cannot let myself down and in turn let you down. Looks like it's about that time. Time to break it down to a science. I play an abundance of characters in various settings. I have to get to know them all, intimately. Characters have to be discovered, developed, cultivated. I couldn't play any part without knowing the person I'm playing. This is one of my favorite parts of the process. I love that this art form gives you the freedom to work your imagination. I get the basic structure of the character and then it's up to me how far I develop them. Well, I like to get all up in their business!! I like to ask questions that may not seem like they matter but that paint the picture, for me, as to who they are. Of course you want to ask the obvious questions...what's your name?, what's your age?, what relationships do you share? I like to ask even more questions like...What's your sign?, What's your favorite color?, Who's your favorite band? LOL I love it!! I want to be comfortable with the character I'm portraying so I'll ask some of the silliest questions ever! It helps me relax and not be so serious about it all. Acting is lot less fantasy than it is hard work!
Monday nights full read through/sing through was interesting. Nothing crashed and burned. We got through it. It is needless to say it will get smoother as time goes by. When I close my eyes and just groove to the music, I feel the emphasis is on the 1 and the 3. It's still very much so rock and roll but with more swagger. 'Rent' I felt was very 2 and 4 heavy. Rock and roll as well but that emphasis gives a different feel. It may just be me but if you listen you'll agree. I can't wait to drop my script and just groove. Which reminds me, it's time for the 'Passing Strange' play list. My 'Two Gents' play list was easy enough...I had lots of 70's music. But this one will be a bit challenging since it's all over the place style wise. I dig it though and the play list is a vital part of the process. I don't want to drown in the recording but I want to surround myself with the style and inspiration. I think I'm gonna make a collage as well, when I was googled Fillmore West, there were some bad-ass posters I'd love to see on a daily basis! I'm going for the opposite of out of sight out of mind.....LIVE IT. BREATH IT.
Blocking starts Tuesday. Yeeeeeaaaaahhh Miller-ography!! Excited! Out of the chairs and onto the floor. This is where it becomes a full body experience. There must be a clear purpose behind every word and every action. It's time to make way for the real. I'm extremely anxious to see what Scott has in store. I imagine the way I think some things will look. I wonder if any of my thoughts and ideas will match up...hmmmm...We shall see. While watching the film I noticed a lot of it was loosely choreographed. We don't have a choreographer. This will be interesting. I wonder how much freedom we will have. There is a great deal of pantomime, exaggerated movements, melting into place. I love it all. What I loved most while watching the film is that everyone is so comfortable with each other. I think that is key! This is a small cast with a very minimal set. It will be entirely up to us to deliver! No hiding behind lavish costumes and outrageous props and set. RAW. BLANK. The music and lyrics already do a wonderful job painting the picture. As a performer I want to paint an honest picture most of all, I don't care how pretty it's perceived to be. I want you to be moved the way I was moved when I saw this. It's time to put in WORK!
I'm still holding back and I've gotta knock it off because time, as always, is not on my side. We only have weeks to get this together. The original cast had years of performing together by the time the film was produced. I am extremely intimidated, but more than that I'm capable!! I have been truly moved by this show and so I cannot let myself down and in turn let you down. Looks like it's about that time. Time to break it down to a science. I play an abundance of characters in various settings. I have to get to know them all, intimately. Characters have to be discovered, developed, cultivated. I couldn't play any part without knowing the person I'm playing. This is one of my favorite parts of the process. I love that this art form gives you the freedom to work your imagination. I get the basic structure of the character and then it's up to me how far I develop them. Well, I like to get all up in their business!! I like to ask questions that may not seem like they matter but that paint the picture, for me, as to who they are. Of course you want to ask the obvious questions...what's your name?, what's your age?, what relationships do you share? I like to ask even more questions like...What's your sign?, What's your favorite color?, Who's your favorite band? LOL I love it!! I want to be comfortable with the character I'm portraying so I'll ask some of the silliest questions ever! It helps me relax and not be so serious about it all. Acting is lot less fantasy than it is hard work!
Monday nights full read through/sing through was interesting. Nothing crashed and burned. We got through it. It is needless to say it will get smoother as time goes by. When I close my eyes and just groove to the music, I feel the emphasis is on the 1 and the 3. It's still very much so rock and roll but with more swagger. 'Rent' I felt was very 2 and 4 heavy. Rock and roll as well but that emphasis gives a different feel. It may just be me but if you listen you'll agree. I can't wait to drop my script and just groove. Which reminds me, it's time for the 'Passing Strange' play list. My 'Two Gents' play list was easy enough...I had lots of 70's music. But this one will be a bit challenging since it's all over the place style wise. I dig it though and the play list is a vital part of the process. I don't want to drown in the recording but I want to surround myself with the style and inspiration. I think I'm gonna make a collage as well, when I was googled Fillmore West, there were some bad-ass posters I'd love to see on a daily basis! I'm going for the opposite of out of sight out of mind.....LIVE IT. BREATH IT.
Blocking starts Tuesday. Yeeeeeaaaaahhh Miller-ography!! Excited! Out of the chairs and onto the floor. This is where it becomes a full body experience. There must be a clear purpose behind every word and every action. It's time to make way for the real. I'm extremely anxious to see what Scott has in store. I imagine the way I think some things will look. I wonder if any of my thoughts and ideas will match up...hmmmm...We shall see. While watching the film I noticed a lot of it was loosely choreographed. We don't have a choreographer. This will be interesting. I wonder how much freedom we will have. There is a great deal of pantomime, exaggerated movements, melting into place. I love it all. What I loved most while watching the film is that everyone is so comfortable with each other. I think that is key! This is a small cast with a very minimal set. It will be entirely up to us to deliver! No hiding behind lavish costumes and outrageous props and set. RAW. BLANK. The music and lyrics already do a wonderful job painting the picture. As a performer I want to paint an honest picture most of all, I don't care how pretty it's perceived to be. I want you to be moved the way I was moved when I saw this. It's time to put in WORK!
8.04.2011
Is it alright?
I don't know why in the hell I would start this blog under this condition. I am freakin WASTED!! But hey, I can always edit it later and it's nice to speak my mind with little to no filter!!<-----Well...That was Monday night...and today is Wednesday(Thursday now) and let's just say...this. has. been. edited. ;) had to cut a bunch of the ranting and rambling! No worries though, there's still plenty.
This process has been coming together rather quickly. We've already gone over all the music and it's the second week of rehearsal!! Awesome! I blush when I think about this production. I have complete faith in Scott and I know that he has complete faith in us. Otherwise, why would he ever move so quickly ;) just sayin. We have a mini read through/sing through soon and I'm excited!! I think I'm mostly excited because I know Miller-ography is right around the corner. It's gonna be a blasty blast.
It's not all Amsterdam spring sunshine and rainbows. No no no....I am absolutely terrified of this whole accent thing. German.....Dutch....I'm freakin out!! EEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Breath, breath........aaaaaaaaaahhhh. Okay, I'm gonna just throw that shit out of the window though because FEAR is TREASON! Life is passion and fear is treason. I learned that during 'Two Gents'. It's another one of those lines that just stuck with me. It's just blatant truth. Fear will block paths. Fear is betrayal to your art form and in love there must be no fear. There is NO doubt...I LOVE THIS and so I shall have NO fear, I will exercise some discretion, but I shall have NO fear. Fear builds barriers and as a performer I want no barriers, I want to connect in every way possible. Well, since I've kicked fear to the curb I'd better develop a plan of attack! I mean, just because there isn't fear doesn't mean the challenge went away! I've got to surround myself with the dialects. If I hear it, I can duplicate it. If I practice, I will duplicate it well, and that's what I intend to do...fingers crossed ;)
Monday's rehearsal was a ton of fun! It was all sex drugs and rock and roll!! The sex..."we just had sex" of course! I love that it's so lighthearted. the lines that always pop out to me when this song is looping through my head are "it's really no big deal that we just had sex" and "you might find it quite risque, but it's the European way". You really feel the shift in culture. I imagine us cha cha-ing from partner to partner la la la-ing all the while. This show is full of songs where I get to la la la and I'm loving every minute of it :) I was listening to the recording and one of the ladies hits a high note and I was like daaaaaaamn, I like that!! I'm gonna try for it next go round...if it gets vetoed that's cool. No fear. On to the drugs please. LOL. Oh "Amsterdam", this song sounds like smiles and sunshine and like there's hashish on the menu. Wonderful!! It sets the scene with all vices in full view and I love how it introduces the characters. The youth's mind is most definitely blown upon arrival. It makes me want to jet to Europe right now!!! Last but not least rock and roll. "Surface" is pretty damn intense to say the least. Layers upon layers of realizations and proclamations! Sexy bass lines and guitar riffs! Chanting, shouting, wailing! Beating on the drums like they stole something! "welcome to Mr. Venus' riot cabaret." That's entrancing. It's thrilling. I want to be sitting center table in that smoke and angst filled venue. I learned that what's inside is just a lie and that only love is real and gained the courage to bleed. And what's this I hear about Molotov cocktails and a vocoder? ;)
Things got real mellow Tuesday. All groovy emotional tunes. Tuesday's rehearsal had me head over heels in my feelings. I love that this show does that to you. Far out, humming along, tapping your foot one minute, immersed in deep thought the next. I learned "Come down now". I get to pour my heart and soul out. That song is personally touching to me, much like "Mom's song". Relationships are hard. You can both feel the same way but not want the same thing. You can both want the same thing but not feel the same way. Love and understanding, should the two go hand in hand or stand at opposing ends? "All you gotta do is ask me, I'll give you all the love life allows" my sentiments exactly. If that were said to me, here's what I would do....ASK YOU!! I love a boy who believes, it's not love if somebody has to change. I don't doubt that this boy loves me, I don't doubt that he believes love and understanding go hand in hand. I have come to believe that they should stand at opposing ends because after all "only love is real"....am I right? Relationships are hard. Enough of that jazz.
Tonight's mini read through/sing through was not a complete success but it was also not an epic fail! We are loosening up and letting go. We're all getting together at Charles and Nikki's to watch the film this Sunday and I'm so excited!! I've seen it a few times but I think it's so great, I could watch it over and over. I know it's gonna help develop a feel for what's going on scene to scene. Sometimes it's hard to imagine with just music and lyrics. I can't wait until these songs become experiences. That will come with blocking. Real read through/sing through is Monday. Perfect timing after our viewing party :)
My week has been mad hectic. Work and rehearsal and meetings and social life. I'm okay with that though. I get satisfaction from what I do and that means so much to me. I am living life, not just 'tumble-weeding'. I'm happy, I am alive and well, for the most part. I'm happy, there is a script in my back seat. I am truly thankful for opportunities that have been coming my way. I'm going to milk them, make ice-cream and then have an ice-cream social. hahahahaha!! WTF, that's kinda creepy and gross as hell. I don't know why in the hell I would end this blog under this condition, I am deliriously tired!! But hey, It's nice to speak my mind with little to no filter and I know you wont judge me for it. I think I'm gonna go to bed now.
This process has been coming together rather quickly. We've already gone over all the music and it's the second week of rehearsal!! Awesome! I blush when I think about this production. I have complete faith in Scott and I know that he has complete faith in us. Otherwise, why would he ever move so quickly ;) just sayin. We have a mini read through/sing through soon and I'm excited!! I think I'm mostly excited because I know Miller-ography is right around the corner. It's gonna be a blasty blast.
It's not all Amsterdam spring sunshine and rainbows. No no no....I am absolutely terrified of this whole accent thing. German.....Dutch....I'm freakin out!! EEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Breath, breath........aaaaaaaaaahhhh. Okay, I'm gonna just throw that shit out of the window though because FEAR is TREASON! Life is passion and fear is treason. I learned that during 'Two Gents'. It's another one of those lines that just stuck with me. It's just blatant truth. Fear will block paths. Fear is betrayal to your art form and in love there must be no fear. There is NO doubt...I LOVE THIS and so I shall have NO fear, I will exercise some discretion, but I shall have NO fear. Fear builds barriers and as a performer I want no barriers, I want to connect in every way possible. Well, since I've kicked fear to the curb I'd better develop a plan of attack! I mean, just because there isn't fear doesn't mean the challenge went away! I've got to surround myself with the dialects. If I hear it, I can duplicate it. If I practice, I will duplicate it well, and that's what I intend to do...fingers crossed ;)
Monday's rehearsal was a ton of fun! It was all sex drugs and rock and roll!! The sex..."we just had sex" of course! I love that it's so lighthearted. the lines that always pop out to me when this song is looping through my head are "it's really no big deal that we just had sex" and "you might find it quite risque, but it's the European way". You really feel the shift in culture. I imagine us cha cha-ing from partner to partner la la la-ing all the while. This show is full of songs where I get to la la la and I'm loving every minute of it :) I was listening to the recording and one of the ladies hits a high note and I was like daaaaaaamn, I like that!! I'm gonna try for it next go round...if it gets vetoed that's cool. No fear. On to the drugs please. LOL. Oh "Amsterdam", this song sounds like smiles and sunshine and like there's hashish on the menu. Wonderful!! It sets the scene with all vices in full view and I love how it introduces the characters. The youth's mind is most definitely blown upon arrival. It makes me want to jet to Europe right now!!! Last but not least rock and roll. "Surface" is pretty damn intense to say the least. Layers upon layers of realizations and proclamations! Sexy bass lines and guitar riffs! Chanting, shouting, wailing! Beating on the drums like they stole something! "welcome to Mr. Venus' riot cabaret." That's entrancing. It's thrilling. I want to be sitting center table in that smoke and angst filled venue. I learned that what's inside is just a lie and that only love is real and gained the courage to bleed. And what's this I hear about Molotov cocktails and a vocoder? ;)
Things got real mellow Tuesday. All groovy emotional tunes. Tuesday's rehearsal had me head over heels in my feelings. I love that this show does that to you. Far out, humming along, tapping your foot one minute, immersed in deep thought the next. I learned "Come down now". I get to pour my heart and soul out. That song is personally touching to me, much like "Mom's song". Relationships are hard. You can both feel the same way but not want the same thing. You can both want the same thing but not feel the same way. Love and understanding, should the two go hand in hand or stand at opposing ends? "All you gotta do is ask me, I'll give you all the love life allows" my sentiments exactly. If that were said to me, here's what I would do....ASK YOU!! I love a boy who believes, it's not love if somebody has to change. I don't doubt that this boy loves me, I don't doubt that he believes love and understanding go hand in hand. I have come to believe that they should stand at opposing ends because after all "only love is real"....am I right? Relationships are hard. Enough of that jazz.
Tonight's mini read through/sing through was not a complete success but it was also not an epic fail! We are loosening up and letting go. We're all getting together at Charles and Nikki's to watch the film this Sunday and I'm so excited!! I've seen it a few times but I think it's so great, I could watch it over and over. I know it's gonna help develop a feel for what's going on scene to scene. Sometimes it's hard to imagine with just music and lyrics. I can't wait until these songs become experiences. That will come with blocking. Real read through/sing through is Monday. Perfect timing after our viewing party :)
My week has been mad hectic. Work and rehearsal and meetings and social life. I'm okay with that though. I get satisfaction from what I do and that means so much to me. I am living life, not just 'tumble-weeding'. I'm happy, I am alive and well, for the most part. I'm happy, there is a script in my back seat. I am truly thankful for opportunities that have been coming my way. I'm going to milk them, make ice-cream and then have an ice-cream social. hahahahaha!! WTF, that's kinda creepy and gross as hell. I don't know why in the hell I would end this blog under this condition, I am deliriously tired!! But hey, It's nice to speak my mind with little to no filter and I know you wont judge me for it. I think I'm gonna go to bed now.
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