'Passing Strange' has come and gone and I miss it soooooo much. I keep hearing that sexy bass line and when I start to rock some air bass, I get a little sad, because it hits me that I won't get to do that, badly, as a member of the Scaryotypes anymore :( But that's ok! We had a great run, despite the turn-out. It fills me with joy to know that everyone who DID see the show, left FEELING something. PRICELESS. That does not happen all the time. I especially love when fellow actors come and see a show. Even though actors are great at pretending, you can always tell whether or not they truly enjoyed themselves. Usually it's in the way they express their delight. A guy told me that when he was watching the show, he could feel the outside world going away and he got trapped inside the world we were creating. Two of my girlfriends called their mom's to tell them they loved them on the way home from the show. That's beyond awesome to me!! Precious moments. This was a life changing experience that I will always cherish.
As I reflect on 'Passing Strange' and dive into 'Palmer Park' it amazes me how RACE really is an issue. It hadn't really dawned on me. I guess because my life has always been racially integrated, and for that I am so thankful. But man oh man, race is a big deal to a lot of people....even today. This 'race issue' hit hard when a good chunk of the regular New Line audience was not in attendance for 'Passing Strange'. I thought that it was mainly because it's a show that a lot of people hadn't heard of. Well, then I thought back to opening night for 'I love my wife', and there were waaaaaay more butts in the seats. That show is not well known at all and it hasn't been on Broadway in ages. So what's the difference....both had a small cast....biggest difference to me is subject matter and color of actors. The run of this brilliant show opened my eyes to what black people will be stuck with for who knows how long...being viewed as conspicuous.
There is a line in 'Palmer Park' that really brought it to my attention. 'Palmer Park' deals with trying to capturing racial harmony and reality hitting the fan. In one scene a white man is pouring his heart out and says this in reference to black people in the united states..."Unlike Ellis Island immigrants, you were always conspicuous. This is not an equation that includes an equal sign." Black people may forever be viewed as conspicuous in some people's eyes. When a clerk watches a black person browsing in a store intensely... shame. That little old white lady is just as capable of shoplifting, but is not nearly as conspicuous in most clerks' eyes. It is what it is. I wish I could say it WAS what it WAS, but for some reason racism just won't roll over and die already. Racism can stay in it's ignorant world, and out of my neighborhood. I have never personally been oppressed. No one has maliciously called me a nigger. I have never been denied anything simply because of my race. My mind is open and my heart is big and warm thanks to that. I don't have any resentment towards any race. I think about people who have been oppressed and the bitterness that's got to ignite, and the cycle it produces. Racism....known, unknown, big, small is just no good....DIE ALREADY!! Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan said "The issue of race could benefit from a period of benign neglect." Well, HOLLA!! I wish it were something that could simply be left alone. But then something happens like, a poor turnout for an amazing show that follows a black man's journey and features black actors and we're right back at it. It makes you wonder..... Well, I'm over it. I don't look at people and try to find what's different between us, I look at them as a human being, because even if we have no similarities, we share that common ground and sharing is caring ;)
'Palmer Park' is a powerful show. For some of those who see the show, it will be a trip down memory lane. For others it will be an incredible reality check. We've been rehearsing for a while and day after day our sense of community and pride grows and grows. This show has really made me appreciate generations before me. The lives they've led, the mistakes they've made, the struggles they've risen above....all so that I'm able to do what I do today. I can't wait to share it with an audience. I know a lot of people will learn some things they might not have known before and that's part of the mission of art....to inform and delight. I'm ready to do this!! Cue to cue's are here and we all enjoy that so much ;) ;) Bring on those performance enhancers!!! Okay, more juicy deets to come, but for now, I'm spent and so it's sleepy time for this gal. Thanks for reading, stay tuned.
10.20.2011
10.11.2011
Too bad it takes so long
AWWWWWW!!! I can't even believe we've come this far. I mean I can, that was the plan after all, but I'm just so proud of us. I remember rehearsing like it was yesterday and now we have three more performances left. THREE!! I will miss this. I will miss that sexy bass line that gets the party started. I will miss hugging my cast-mates before starting the show. I will miss watching, story telling, transforming. As the nights go by I am increasingly emotional. This show holds a special place in my heart, it has left it's fingerprints on my being.
From the moment I heard the music I was intrigued. It didn't sound like typical musical theatre. It sounded like something I'd hear on the radio, or better yet, straight from my play list. I was smitten! Then I saw it on Netflix and I was metamorphosed. I had never seen anything like that!! NOTHING ever spoke to me so personally. The relationship between the boy and his mom is so much like me and my granny's relationship, it's frightening. The fact that he finds joy in music and art and creativity and expression....it's like looking in a mirror. Discovering paradise, growing bored with it. Learning, loving, losing. These are things that all people can relate to. So I was rather surprised when it came to the turn out. I thought people would lose their minds over this show, like I did!! It's been a bit disappointing. I don't know if it's because it's a lesser known show or because it's a small cast or because it's a black cast and the story of a black man's journey, I don't know. But something has definitely effected the crowd. Honestly, I figured there would be a fair amount of apprehension from some of the white theatre going crowd. And sadly, it goes without saying that there is a lack of presence of black folks in the theatre community as a whole. Directing, starring, contributing, attending. Just period. But, I cannot, will not worry about who is NOT in the seats. It's my job to deliver the message to the people that ARE, so that they tell all of their friends ;)
Slowly but surely, that's been happening! I love it when people talk to us after the show. You can see the emotion on their faces. The greatest thing I've heard, is "We loved that experience." That makes me so proud!!! 'Passing Strange' truly is an experience, it moves you. No matter who you are....young, old, man, woman, black, white. Once you see it you realize it's less about race and more about the human being. This show has given me answers to questions I may have never asked. It has stretched me as an actor and I got to speak with a sexy German accent LOL!! Not a day goes by that the songs aren't in my head. Same goes for some of my friends who have seen the show. I was at a party and a buddy of mine was humming "Arlington Hill". That makes me smile big and bright!! To see what we have all worked so hard to create, delight and inform people is just magical. The kind of magic, that I'm ok with, not the dark and creepy kind.
THREE more performances. Three more times to call and respond. Three more times to explode!!! Three more times to wave those Amsterdam hands. :( I am going to miss this, but it will ALWAYS be with me. 'Passing Strange' is an experience that I can't wait to share with y'all three more times!! So, I'll see you there! Okay, cool....be sure to stay afterward so that I can give you GIANT HUGS!!
From the moment I heard the music I was intrigued. It didn't sound like typical musical theatre. It sounded like something I'd hear on the radio, or better yet, straight from my play list. I was smitten! Then I saw it on Netflix and I was metamorphosed. I had never seen anything like that!! NOTHING ever spoke to me so personally. The relationship between the boy and his mom is so much like me and my granny's relationship, it's frightening. The fact that he finds joy in music and art and creativity and expression....it's like looking in a mirror. Discovering paradise, growing bored with it. Learning, loving, losing. These are things that all people can relate to. So I was rather surprised when it came to the turn out. I thought people would lose their minds over this show, like I did!! It's been a bit disappointing. I don't know if it's because it's a lesser known show or because it's a small cast or because it's a black cast and the story of a black man's journey, I don't know. But something has definitely effected the crowd. Honestly, I figured there would be a fair amount of apprehension from some of the white theatre going crowd. And sadly, it goes without saying that there is a lack of presence of black folks in the theatre community as a whole. Directing, starring, contributing, attending. Just period. But, I cannot, will not worry about who is NOT in the seats. It's my job to deliver the message to the people that ARE, so that they tell all of their friends ;)
Slowly but surely, that's been happening! I love it when people talk to us after the show. You can see the emotion on their faces. The greatest thing I've heard, is "We loved that experience." That makes me so proud!!! 'Passing Strange' truly is an experience, it moves you. No matter who you are....young, old, man, woman, black, white. Once you see it you realize it's less about race and more about the human being. This show has given me answers to questions I may have never asked. It has stretched me as an actor and I got to speak with a sexy German accent LOL!! Not a day goes by that the songs aren't in my head. Same goes for some of my friends who have seen the show. I was at a party and a buddy of mine was humming "Arlington Hill". That makes me smile big and bright!! To see what we have all worked so hard to create, delight and inform people is just magical. The kind of magic, that I'm ok with, not the dark and creepy kind.
THREE more performances. Three more times to call and respond. Three more times to explode!!! Three more times to wave those Amsterdam hands. :( I am going to miss this, but it will ALWAYS be with me. 'Passing Strange' is an experience that I can't wait to share with y'all three more times!! So, I'll see you there! Okay, cool....be sure to stay afterward so that I can give you GIANT HUGS!!
9.30.2011
This brings me no joy.
I am sooooooo sad that I have not had time to sit with myself. Creative time. Time where I can take life's Lemons and make juicy, delicious, sweet, refreshing lemonade. I've just been juggling these stupid ass lemons. BOOOOOOOOOO!! I can't even juggle!! So yea, it's been beyond a mess. I love to blog!! To share my thoughts, as scattered as they may be. I can't even sit still long enough to do so. I gotta make a change. I don't care how much money I make as long as I am happy. As long as I am fulfilled by the end of the day. My days have literally been 9 A.M. clock in, 6 P.M. clock out, 6:30 P.M. get to theatre, 8 P.M. PLAY ON STAGE :), 10:30ish P.M. figure out how much I'll hate my life the next day,...if I go out that night, 1:00 A.M. arrive home, engage nightly routine, sleep, then repeat the next day!!! Daaaaaaang, it's a lot sometimes. But, what gets to me most is that the biggest chunk of my day is invested in working on someone else's passionate project.
It makes me kinda jealous. More and more so daily. I think....hmmmmmmm....I could be crafting. I could be building MY brand. I could be receiving more joy!! This is what I will be working toward because "my dream is to live as an artist". I want to take hold of my dreams and make them a reality bit by bit. I am a realistic person and so no I don't want to quit my job and become a struggling artist, however, I intend to focus on my passion like it's running dry. Like it could make me millions one day, as a matter of fact, like it makes me millions today!! When I consider what I'm receiving for the amount time I invest "workin for man", it's bad news bears. Well, I'm seeking good vibrations, negative nancys can exit stage right....NOW!! Sam Cooke said "a change gon come" I say HOLLA!! I will not just talk about it, I will make it happen. I am an actor, I feed on action.
As I finish up this blog, the shortest blog ever, I am sad. Sad because it's Friday, Friday, and I wanna get down on Friday but noooooooooo 7 A.M. comes oh so early and it's already midnight. :( I am also happy!! For lots of reasons. I have an able mind to share my thoughts and fingers to type it up. I have a job! I have a vehicle of expression, without fear of execution. Friends and family who love me. I could go on and on and so the next time I blog it will not be full of complaints, it will be full of thoughts on 'Passing Strange' and who knows what else. Thanks for listening to, well reading about, my rant of disgust and my hope for change. If I were with you right now I'd give you a biiiiiiiiiggg HUG!! Really though, I do need to make a change so that I have more time on my hands to craft my art form and so that my blood pressure and stress level stays low low low low low low low low. <---in my Flo-Rida voice ;) Til next time guys.
It makes me kinda jealous. More and more so daily. I think....hmmmmmmm....I could be crafting. I could be building MY brand. I could be receiving more joy!! This is what I will be working toward because "my dream is to live as an artist". I want to take hold of my dreams and make them a reality bit by bit. I am a realistic person and so no I don't want to quit my job and become a struggling artist, however, I intend to focus on my passion like it's running dry. Like it could make me millions one day, as a matter of fact, like it makes me millions today!! When I consider what I'm receiving for the amount time I invest "workin for man", it's bad news bears. Well, I'm seeking good vibrations, negative nancys can exit stage right....NOW!! Sam Cooke said "a change gon come" I say HOLLA!! I will not just talk about it, I will make it happen. I am an actor, I feed on action.
As I finish up this blog, the shortest blog ever, I am sad. Sad because it's Friday, Friday, and I wanna get down on Friday but noooooooooo 7 A.M. comes oh so early and it's already midnight. :( I am also happy!! For lots of reasons. I have an able mind to share my thoughts and fingers to type it up. I have a job! I have a vehicle of expression, without fear of execution. Friends and family who love me. I could go on and on and so the next time I blog it will not be full of complaints, it will be full of thoughts on 'Passing Strange' and who knows what else. Thanks for listening to, well reading about, my rant of disgust and my hope for change. If I were with you right now I'd give you a biiiiiiiiiggg HUG!! Really though, I do need to make a change so that I have more time on my hands to craft my art form and so that my blood pressure and stress level stays low low low low low low low low. <---in my Flo-Rida voice ;) Til next time guys.
9.13.2011
With their judgemental eyes...see, they've all just realized.....
Nothing is ever strawberry fields forever. Sometimes shit hits the fan. Sometimes people disagree. Sometimes there are opposing visions. We are a group of artists, art is subjective and tiffs are bound to occur, so I don't fret. As long as we are all working towards the same goal, everything will work out. Friction is like seasoning...without it things can get bland and tasteless, too much of it and it becomes a salty mess!! We need friction to cause the spark that ignites a fire!! A fire called passion!! We're artists, not arsonists and so we're not gonna burn the place down, we are going to smolder. We aren't going to take this fire to engulf and destroy. We're gonna take this fire and make beautiful art like blowing glass. Things are really starting to gel and it's nice. Transitions are smoother. Awkward moments are more tense than ever. Touching moments are hitting home. I thought I'd be sick of this show by now but I'm not at all!! It's a challenging production and I know that's why I'm still invested. There's lots of work yet to be done. We've baked the cake and now it's time to ice and decorate, and then serve it, on a platter. This is where artistic freedom must run rampant. This is where discernment is crucial. Nothing should ever get in the way of the message! It's my duty as an actress to always perform like nothing. else. matters. but the message at hand.
Performance enhancers are upon us. I'm sooooo excited, I feel like a little kid on a snow day. LET'S PLAY!! Hair, make-up, the band, lights, costumes, props, the set. Yeeeeeessss!! I want it all!! I've gotta be careful though because with all 'performance-enhancers' there are side effects. These things are here to intensify our performances, but they can also detract, distract, dilute. My role in this group of fiery pilgrims is PERFORMER. A messenger in ways. I want to deliver a clear message with genuine and raw emotion. I refuse to overdose on performance enhancers. If I fail, feel free to 'kill the messenger'. :) The lights, the band, the props, the set....these things are all around me, providing an ambient effect. The hair, make-up, costumes....are a true part of the character. This is where the side effects hit directly. When you envision the character your playing, certain images come to mind. Much like when you read the script, certain blocking comes to mind. Whenever it comes down to it, things may be different than what you imagined. You may be disappointed. You get over it. Unless you don't. Unless the side effects defeat the purpose. Hair, make-up, costumes are always the 'sketchy' part of performance enhancers. They have a super ability to detract, distract, dilute. Could you imagine Audrey with long brown hair instead of her blond bob. Or a "plain Jane" character with a face full of after 5 makeup. Or Dorothy with a red gingham gown....it would change everything. Hair, make-up, costumes are vital pieces when crafting a character. Impeccable taste is a must. Things really shouldn't be too extraordinary with this show, everything is very minimal. Very little props, costume changes happen quickly. Subtle conversions. I think the most vital performance enhancer will be the addition of the band.
This is a Rock and Roll show!! When the band hits the stage, we will explode!! All those guitar riffs and the groovy bass. OMG and the drums!! I can't even handle it, just thinkin about it is making my cheeks hurt I'm smiling so hard. I'm going to try and interact with them as much as possible!! I wonder if they'll sing?! It'd be hard not to!! Justin has been playing piano the past few rehearsals. He is sooooo great. It's amazing he just jumped in like that playing these hard ass songs!! Hats off to Justin!! He's given us a tasty sample of what we have to look forward to once the rest of the New Line band hits the scene. I can't frickin wait!! Since Justin is playing piano, Scott has taken seats in the house. I like it when he watches, things change, for the better. I've already gotten plenty of helpful notes. I've got to remember to stop taking baby steps, it really is distracting and I should only be moving with purpose. I guess I get nervous, which is sooooo not my style. I'm really happy that Mr. Miller enjoys my freestyle interpretive dance. He said it was some good Perkins-ograpy, that made my heart smile, but nothing tops Miller-ography :) Insert Amsterdam hands. The band was a super part of the original production. We don't have a collapsible stage and that's quite alright, but the one thing I miss most with our production in comparison to the original is the lack of Heidi. I loved her. She was like a ghost. Her presence was eerie, intermittent, sporadic and just made sense. Especially in come down now, because I'm sure Heidi has sung that to Stew in her own way. You are missed Heidi, but guess what....We'll just make it like that movie Ghosts and let you live in us from time to time. Man, that's hella creepy!! From magic to ghosts....my goodness!! What the F is my problem!!
This journey is about to hit a turning point. HELL WEEK!!! Things will get hectic, we will be metamorphosed. I realize that I've only been sprinkling in the swag, but I've gotta remember, in the world of musicals, this is soul food and I can be a little bit more heavy handed. The last thing this show is, is bland. This show is all about the "Real" and I just need to focus on that as far as my performance goes. MY REAL. As well as ENERGY!! I went to see a show that only had 2 actors and no intermission and I couldn't take my eyes off the stage. They were 100% invested and therefore so was I. It's easy to get bored as an audience member when your sitting down for a couple hours, experiencing something for the first time. The lights are dim, there aren't any flashy costumes or gigantic dance numbers. I can't let that happen. Boredom is the last thing I want you to experience. There are only 7 of us, in an intimate set up and so there is no doubt, someone is watching you. We must captivate, entrance, seduce, provoke,thrill. It's the New Line way!! This is a very strong cast!! We've grown very close to each other and I learn from each and every individual. I am so grateful to Scott for putting on this production. It's great that he knows what he's after....intelligent singing actors. That gives me a confidence jet pack and I feel honored whenever I can be a part of anything New Line does. It's run run run from here on out and then you guys get to eat some tasty cake!!! Metaphorically of course, well, I guess not if you come to the opening night after party.....DO. IT. and then use your peer pressure for good and tell all your friends to come too!! Come on, all the cool kids are doing it! ;)
Performance enhancers are upon us. I'm sooooo excited, I feel like a little kid on a snow day. LET'S PLAY!! Hair, make-up, the band, lights, costumes, props, the set. Yeeeeeessss!! I want it all!! I've gotta be careful though because with all 'performance-enhancers' there are side effects. These things are here to intensify our performances, but they can also detract, distract, dilute. My role in this group of fiery pilgrims is PERFORMER. A messenger in ways. I want to deliver a clear message with genuine and raw emotion. I refuse to overdose on performance enhancers. If I fail, feel free to 'kill the messenger'. :) The lights, the band, the props, the set....these things are all around me, providing an ambient effect. The hair, make-up, costumes....are a true part of the character. This is where the side effects hit directly. When you envision the character your playing, certain images come to mind. Much like when you read the script, certain blocking comes to mind. Whenever it comes down to it, things may be different than what you imagined. You may be disappointed. You get over it. Unless you don't. Unless the side effects defeat the purpose. Hair, make-up, costumes are always the 'sketchy' part of performance enhancers. They have a super ability to detract, distract, dilute. Could you imagine Audrey with long brown hair instead of her blond bob. Or a "plain Jane" character with a face full of after 5 makeup. Or Dorothy with a red gingham gown....it would change everything. Hair, make-up, costumes are vital pieces when crafting a character. Impeccable taste is a must. Things really shouldn't be too extraordinary with this show, everything is very minimal. Very little props, costume changes happen quickly. Subtle conversions. I think the most vital performance enhancer will be the addition of the band.
This is a Rock and Roll show!! When the band hits the stage, we will explode!! All those guitar riffs and the groovy bass. OMG and the drums!! I can't even handle it, just thinkin about it is making my cheeks hurt I'm smiling so hard. I'm going to try and interact with them as much as possible!! I wonder if they'll sing?! It'd be hard not to!! Justin has been playing piano the past few rehearsals. He is sooooo great. It's amazing he just jumped in like that playing these hard ass songs!! Hats off to Justin!! He's given us a tasty sample of what we have to look forward to once the rest of the New Line band hits the scene. I can't frickin wait!! Since Justin is playing piano, Scott has taken seats in the house. I like it when he watches, things change, for the better. I've already gotten plenty of helpful notes. I've got to remember to stop taking baby steps, it really is distracting and I should only be moving with purpose. I guess I get nervous, which is sooooo not my style. I'm really happy that Mr. Miller enjoys my freestyle interpretive dance. He said it was some good Perkins-ograpy, that made my heart smile, but nothing tops Miller-ography :) Insert Amsterdam hands. The band was a super part of the original production. We don't have a collapsible stage and that's quite alright, but the one thing I miss most with our production in comparison to the original is the lack of Heidi. I loved her. She was like a ghost. Her presence was eerie, intermittent, sporadic and just made sense. Especially in come down now, because I'm sure Heidi has sung that to Stew in her own way. You are missed Heidi, but guess what....We'll just make it like that movie Ghosts and let you live in us from time to time. Man, that's hella creepy!! From magic to ghosts....my goodness!! What the F is my problem!!
This journey is about to hit a turning point. HELL WEEK!!! Things will get hectic, we will be metamorphosed. I realize that I've only been sprinkling in the swag, but I've gotta remember, in the world of musicals, this is soul food and I can be a little bit more heavy handed. The last thing this show is, is bland. This show is all about the "Real" and I just need to focus on that as far as my performance goes. MY REAL. As well as ENERGY!! I went to see a show that only had 2 actors and no intermission and I couldn't take my eyes off the stage. They were 100% invested and therefore so was I. It's easy to get bored as an audience member when your sitting down for a couple hours, experiencing something for the first time. The lights are dim, there aren't any flashy costumes or gigantic dance numbers. I can't let that happen. Boredom is the last thing I want you to experience. There are only 7 of us, in an intimate set up and so there is no doubt, someone is watching you. We must captivate, entrance, seduce, provoke,thrill. It's the New Line way!! This is a very strong cast!! We've grown very close to each other and I learn from each and every individual. I am so grateful to Scott for putting on this production. It's great that he knows what he's after....intelligent singing actors. That gives me a confidence jet pack and I feel honored whenever I can be a part of anything New Line does. It's run run run from here on out and then you guys get to eat some tasty cake!!! Metaphorically of course, well, I guess not if you come to the opening night after party.....DO. IT. and then use your peer pressure for good and tell all your friends to come too!! Come on, all the cool kids are doing it! ;)
8.31.2011
If it were any more real, baby....It'd be fiction.
Let's talk about the V. I almost feel like I'm about to be blogging about true blood or something!!! LMAO!! That would be cool too!! Hopefully this is just as cool. To be continued.....
Aaaaaannd we're back. Bait and switch babay!! Last time I blogged I wanted to get knee deep in that triangle between the youth, the mom, and Desi and I still do. However, I was thinking about it and it's really more of a V than a triangle. The Mom and Desi never interact, they are the tips of the V. The youth is the point of the V, the prick if you will ;) and he is a little prick, to both of these ladies. He never says it but he loves them both and they surely love him. It's awesome how similar the relationships are concerning the Mom and Youth & Desi and the Youth. They both try to teach him the same lesson in their own way. Mom says "Love is more real than a dream" Desi sings "My love is more real than all your dreams." He hears them both but doesn't really listen. The roles they play in his life really reflect his growth and his plateau for that matter. These characters all speak to me. Each in their own way.
Let's start with Mom! The Mom represents my family's everlasting love for me. All the things the Mom does my family has done. She preaches to him. He can't stand it. She doesn't "understand" him. She tries to teach him quality lessons. He runs from it. He doesn't want her real, he wants his real. "Why are normal everyday things like sheer agony for you?" youth replies with "'Cuz normal everyday things are phony. Why do I have to change?" In those two sentences alone you see how the mom lives her life...routinely. You see how the youth feels about that and what he'd love to do about it. When the Youth acts a fool in church the Mom says "Do you want these people thinking I've raised a heathen?" the Youth lets her know "I'm not like you! I don't care what they think." Rebel youth! Oh so immature, oh so selfish, oh so headstrong. I love these lyrics, there are mothers everywhere who have felt the exact same way...It's breaking you heart, his questioning of everything. Unannounced, he's flown out from under your wing. I'm hardly afraid of your new world's strange design. Why don't you make room for me, as I made room for you in mine. All Mom's probably feel this way when their child is coming into their own. The youth's mind is made up. He must fulfill his destiny. He's going to Europe, and not just to visit, He's moving there for good. Some of my favorite scenes occur between the Mom and the Youth. In the European avant-garde cinema scene you get a complete breakdown of the struggle between the two. My granny and I have shared similar scenarios. He stands strong on his mission "My dream is to live as an artist" She lets him know "Love is more real than a dream" here comes the rebuttal "You torture me with love, when what I need is understanding." Jeesh, that's kinda harsh to say to ur mom, but at 15 I'm sure I've said worse!! 100% certain. The Mom reminds me so much of my Granny. Good spirited, loving, christian, organized, full of love for me. She has instilled things in me that I will never depart from and that I've run from faster than she can say listening is waiting. Her intent is always the best and sometimes she doesn't understand me at all. But I know she loves me and she keeps me aloft. Youth goes abroad, Mom stays home. In a home that once was theirs, just the two of them. That's a loneliness I know nothing of. I'm not a mom and so I can't personally relate with how that must feel. I empathize more and more the older I get. I will forever be their child. Love like that can't be measured.
The Youth, I relate to in so many ways on a personal level. I've shied away from religion, I've found myself in music, I've run from home in search of my real. I've hurt my family just by being me and who I am. I've lost friends and lovers over time while shedding my cocoon. I have discovered that I am an artist, and it is my dream to live as an artist. When the youth says certain things I'm shaking my head like you selfish little immature prick. At the same time I have felt and do feel the way that he does at various points in my life. I was so rebellious as a teenager. I wanted nothing but to go in search of my own ideas and so when my parents tried to tell me what I should do or who I should be I really didn't want to hear it. I felt like the Youth felt....why should I have to change? To fit your mold? I want my own mold. I did what I wanted to do, I didn't care that it was breaking their hearts to see me run from what they built for me. Well, I now realize that I was just immature and selfish. I didn't put others before myself. My love was shallow, my focus was on living how I wanted to live. Their love was deep, their whole lives transformed around their love for me and making my life the best it could be. That focus became more real than whatever dreams they had to put on hold. Sacrifice, maturity, love, now that's real. Times are changing. I'm not nearly as selfish as I used to be and a great deal of that can be attributed to the fact that I'm not nearly as young as I used to be. HEYO! These lines in the show regarding youth really hit home for me "the only truth of youth, is the grown-up consequences." and "someday the chords of age will drown out the life you've been dreaming of." So. True. youth is fleeting, love is everlasting. I enjoy the Youth's journey and the subtle transformations he goes through. It's like looking in the mirror a little bit and that's so rare and so nice.
Ms. Desi that is, Desi Desi that is, she was a left-wing love machine. Can you dig it? YES I CAN! I <3 Desi. I like her swagger. I like her irresistible mind. Desi is the character that I play for the longest amount of time. She is the character that I relate to the most when it comes to my love life. "She had a long awaited answer for the emptiness you feel, she called it revolution, she told him only love is real." She drops mad knowledge on the youth. Listening is waiting, he takes from it what he will. In so many ways I also believe that only Love is real. I feel love, I give love, I crave love. I have loved and lost, and I will never ever give up on love. It's one of those things you can't buy, or touch, or even explain sometimes but that is so powerful. Love will make you do unseemly things. I was in a relationship for a long while full of ups and downs. Full of lies, full of love. Full of contradictory emotions. In my way I was Desi pleading to the youth to remove that mask. Let me in. Want what I want, feel how I feel, ask me, so that I can give you everything. In his way he was the youth. He didn't see the point of love without understanding....although I thought I understood more than I did. Where I felt only love is real, he felt, it's not love if somebody had to change. Love was not his number one priority, he would be changing his entire focus in order to give me what I want. It hurts to be denied what you want, but it would hurt more to partake in one sided pretending and so I can respect that. Sometimes you've gotta just step back and say "O.K." and let life take it's course. The older I get the better I understand love. I've heard this a billion times and usually shrug it off but this is very true..."Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." That makes me feel like love is the key to immortality!! That makes me respect love and only seek real love. To hold on tight to the real love my family has provided for me and continue to provide me time and time again. :) Desi rocks and I'm so happy to get to portray her. She is a big girl, she allows herself to be vulnerable, if she gets hurt, she will shake it off and become no more bitter because of it. I like that and now that's my plan, Stan.
Whenever I'm involved in a show I try to find something to personally relate to the character I'm playing. Sometimes it's hard. In this case it's been hard to not ramble on and on about how relatable every character is!! It's special, it's rare, it's real. We are off book now and so it's time to get serious and to play a lot too! You can definitely act better without a script in your hand to get in the way. When the band comes in to play, when the lights go up and down, and all those other performance enhancers hit the scene....MAGIC will happen. Man, I seem to mention magic in like every blog and I'm NOT a fan of magic. I mean I guess I am if it's used for good... but it's magic and so it's too easy to be tricked into thinking it's good, but it very well may not be. Alright that's enough about magic and trickery and tom foolery!! Let's talk about something real....THIS SHOW KICKS ASS!! And it keeps getting better!! I think I have my look for the first act and the second act too!! Get. Excited. I am!! The audience is right around the corner, and I love to see the looks on peoples faces. I can't wait!! I want to thrill you!! The only thing I don't want to see is you sleeping, but if your 75+ I'm okay with it because I think your adorable, and I understand....ur just old and it's probs waaaaaaaay past your bed time!! LOL!! Can't wait to get my nursing home up and running. I can just imagine the mayhem at other adult care facilities when their residents find out they could be at the coolest nursing home in town. Water beds, Jacuzzis, jello shots, speed dating, ice-cream socials, Vegas style weddings and entertainment!! HOLLA!! My only stipulation is that you have to check yourself in :) The guy sleeping in the front row wouldn't make the cut, but the red hat lady cracking up with the pearls...yea she's in! Okay, I've lost all train of thought. It's time to call it quits. I'm sure you guys read these sometimes and are like what the hell, but I just wanna say thanks for reading :)
Aaaaaannd we're back. Bait and switch babay!! Last time I blogged I wanted to get knee deep in that triangle between the youth, the mom, and Desi and I still do. However, I was thinking about it and it's really more of a V than a triangle. The Mom and Desi never interact, they are the tips of the V. The youth is the point of the V, the prick if you will ;) and he is a little prick, to both of these ladies. He never says it but he loves them both and they surely love him. It's awesome how similar the relationships are concerning the Mom and Youth & Desi and the Youth. They both try to teach him the same lesson in their own way. Mom says "Love is more real than a dream" Desi sings "My love is more real than all your dreams." He hears them both but doesn't really listen. The roles they play in his life really reflect his growth and his plateau for that matter. These characters all speak to me. Each in their own way.
Let's start with Mom! The Mom represents my family's everlasting love for me. All the things the Mom does my family has done. She preaches to him. He can't stand it. She doesn't "understand" him. She tries to teach him quality lessons. He runs from it. He doesn't want her real, he wants his real. "Why are normal everyday things like sheer agony for you?" youth replies with "'Cuz normal everyday things are phony. Why do I have to change?" In those two sentences alone you see how the mom lives her life...routinely. You see how the youth feels about that and what he'd love to do about it. When the Youth acts a fool in church the Mom says "Do you want these people thinking I've raised a heathen?" the Youth lets her know "I'm not like you! I don't care what they think." Rebel youth! Oh so immature, oh so selfish, oh so headstrong. I love these lyrics, there are mothers everywhere who have felt the exact same way...It's breaking you heart, his questioning of everything. Unannounced, he's flown out from under your wing. I'm hardly afraid of your new world's strange design. Why don't you make room for me, as I made room for you in mine. All Mom's probably feel this way when their child is coming into their own. The youth's mind is made up. He must fulfill his destiny. He's going to Europe, and not just to visit, He's moving there for good. Some of my favorite scenes occur between the Mom and the Youth. In the European avant-garde cinema scene you get a complete breakdown of the struggle between the two. My granny and I have shared similar scenarios. He stands strong on his mission "My dream is to live as an artist" She lets him know "Love is more real than a dream" here comes the rebuttal "You torture me with love, when what I need is understanding." Jeesh, that's kinda harsh to say to ur mom, but at 15 I'm sure I've said worse!! 100% certain. The Mom reminds me so much of my Granny. Good spirited, loving, christian, organized, full of love for me. She has instilled things in me that I will never depart from and that I've run from faster than she can say listening is waiting. Her intent is always the best and sometimes she doesn't understand me at all. But I know she loves me and she keeps me aloft. Youth goes abroad, Mom stays home. In a home that once was theirs, just the two of them. That's a loneliness I know nothing of. I'm not a mom and so I can't personally relate with how that must feel. I empathize more and more the older I get. I will forever be their child. Love like that can't be measured.
The Youth, I relate to in so many ways on a personal level. I've shied away from religion, I've found myself in music, I've run from home in search of my real. I've hurt my family just by being me and who I am. I've lost friends and lovers over time while shedding my cocoon. I have discovered that I am an artist, and it is my dream to live as an artist. When the youth says certain things I'm shaking my head like you selfish little immature prick. At the same time I have felt and do feel the way that he does at various points in my life. I was so rebellious as a teenager. I wanted nothing but to go in search of my own ideas and so when my parents tried to tell me what I should do or who I should be I really didn't want to hear it. I felt like the Youth felt....why should I have to change? To fit your mold? I want my own mold. I did what I wanted to do, I didn't care that it was breaking their hearts to see me run from what they built for me. Well, I now realize that I was just immature and selfish. I didn't put others before myself. My love was shallow, my focus was on living how I wanted to live. Their love was deep, their whole lives transformed around their love for me and making my life the best it could be. That focus became more real than whatever dreams they had to put on hold. Sacrifice, maturity, love, now that's real. Times are changing. I'm not nearly as selfish as I used to be and a great deal of that can be attributed to the fact that I'm not nearly as young as I used to be. HEYO! These lines in the show regarding youth really hit home for me "the only truth of youth, is the grown-up consequences." and "someday the chords of age will drown out the life you've been dreaming of." So. True. youth is fleeting, love is everlasting. I enjoy the Youth's journey and the subtle transformations he goes through. It's like looking in the mirror a little bit and that's so rare and so nice.
Ms. Desi that is, Desi Desi that is, she was a left-wing love machine. Can you dig it? YES I CAN! I <3 Desi. I like her swagger. I like her irresistible mind. Desi is the character that I play for the longest amount of time. She is the character that I relate to the most when it comes to my love life. "She had a long awaited answer for the emptiness you feel, she called it revolution, she told him only love is real." She drops mad knowledge on the youth. Listening is waiting, he takes from it what he will. In so many ways I also believe that only Love is real. I feel love, I give love, I crave love. I have loved and lost, and I will never ever give up on love. It's one of those things you can't buy, or touch, or even explain sometimes but that is so powerful. Love will make you do unseemly things. I was in a relationship for a long while full of ups and downs. Full of lies, full of love. Full of contradictory emotions. In my way I was Desi pleading to the youth to remove that mask. Let me in. Want what I want, feel how I feel, ask me, so that I can give you everything. In his way he was the youth. He didn't see the point of love without understanding....although I thought I understood more than I did. Where I felt only love is real, he felt, it's not love if somebody had to change. Love was not his number one priority, he would be changing his entire focus in order to give me what I want. It hurts to be denied what you want, but it would hurt more to partake in one sided pretending and so I can respect that. Sometimes you've gotta just step back and say "O.K." and let life take it's course. The older I get the better I understand love. I've heard this a billion times and usually shrug it off but this is very true..."Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." That makes me feel like love is the key to immortality!! That makes me respect love and only seek real love. To hold on tight to the real love my family has provided for me and continue to provide me time and time again. :) Desi rocks and I'm so happy to get to portray her. She is a big girl, she allows herself to be vulnerable, if she gets hurt, she will shake it off and become no more bitter because of it. I like that and now that's my plan, Stan.
Whenever I'm involved in a show I try to find something to personally relate to the character I'm playing. Sometimes it's hard. In this case it's been hard to not ramble on and on about how relatable every character is!! It's special, it's rare, it's real. We are off book now and so it's time to get serious and to play a lot too! You can definitely act better without a script in your hand to get in the way. When the band comes in to play, when the lights go up and down, and all those other performance enhancers hit the scene....MAGIC will happen. Man, I seem to mention magic in like every blog and I'm NOT a fan of magic. I mean I guess I am if it's used for good... but it's magic and so it's too easy to be tricked into thinking it's good, but it very well may not be. Alright that's enough about magic and trickery and tom foolery!! Let's talk about something real....THIS SHOW KICKS ASS!! And it keeps getting better!! I think I have my look for the first act and the second act too!! Get. Excited. I am!! The audience is right around the corner, and I love to see the looks on peoples faces. I can't wait!! I want to thrill you!! The only thing I don't want to see is you sleeping, but if your 75+ I'm okay with it because I think your adorable, and I understand....ur just old and it's probs waaaaaaaay past your bed time!! LOL!! Can't wait to get my nursing home up and running. I can just imagine the mayhem at other adult care facilities when their residents find out they could be at the coolest nursing home in town. Water beds, Jacuzzis, jello shots, speed dating, ice-cream socials, Vegas style weddings and entertainment!! HOLLA!! My only stipulation is that you have to check yourself in :) The guy sleeping in the front row wouldn't make the cut, but the red hat lady cracking up with the pearls...yea she's in! Okay, I've lost all train of thought. It's time to call it quits. I'm sure you guys read these sometimes and are like what the hell, but I just wanna say thanks for reading :)
8.25.2011
Strip your mind naked, pilgrim.
HELL YEA ACT II!! It's already been broughten!! Yea, I went there, I'm a dork like that...love me, not your idea of me ;) I will cherish this experience always!! Act II is when things get heavy, when it starts to feel real. This is where the youth learns the lessons he will take with him beyond his youth. He will take with him...."what's inside is just a lie" and "only love is real". He will create his true self. The key to "the real" will finally be in his hands. What will he do with it? Is it a master key? Act II helps complete established lessons. Brings about "real" lessons. Tests if he's ready.
Berlin...that's where we are for pretty much all of Act II. The setting is a complete shift from the setting of Act I. Amsterdam spring sunshine, L.A. the sun shines every day of the year. Berlin was ugly, cold, and cracked...the snow was all about. Although the weather was waaaaay nicer in the first act, the bleak weather in the second act is more fitting. the more concrete the "real" becomes...the bleaker things become. Makes sense after all. The real is not all happy, happy, joy, joy....sometimes it's damp and dark and cold. Sometimes it's an ugly truth. Things have got to be bad from time to time in order to recognize what makes you feel good. Like the youth says during "Stoned" in Act I...."It's like I can't get too comfortable. Otherwise I'll forget all the shit there is to complain about." "It's hard to write songs when your already in paradise". "Paradise is a bore." He realized that world was not his 'paradise' after all. Goodbye sex, drugs, and rock & roll!! That truly was a ton of fun. Indeed there will still be sex, there will still be drugs, there will still be rock and roll. But, it'll become more like...Making love, experimental escapes via drugs, and performance art. Sure, that doesn't have the same ring to it, but it's as real as ever!!
He continued on his journey to find "the real". Berlin: A black hole with Taxis. Berlin: A forest of sharp corners. Berlin: Swallowed if harmful. It was two miles from right, it was always all night. As soon as he hits the scene he's hit in the face with a RIOT!! Oh "May Day"!! I just love it!! I get so AMP. I don't know what it is about this song...well, I guess I do. I love that it sounds and feels like 90's house music!! It is the reason "Du Hast" is on my 'Passing Strange' play list. It sets the scene and introduces some wild characters. Individuals. Hugo, bitter music critic. Sudabey, post-modern pornographer and social critic. Mr. Venus, a. performance. artist. And Desi, the den mother and social engineer. This is the Nowhaus gang. Desi is the founder. "We wish to create an anti-bourgeois living community, that stands in opposition to capitalist society". Heavy huh? Waaaaaaay heavier than "We just had sex." Nowhaus was not looking for "the real", and they wouldn't hesitate to let Mr. youth know. They will all force valuable lessons upon him. Listening is waiting, he will take from it, what he will.
The youth has been on his own for quite some time now. Having a blast, creating, experimenting, destroying. He has matured a bit. He is developing a better understanding of "the real". He's still as selfish as ever. Has he learned any lessons? A while back he discovered his love of music. That love still reigns supreme. He's been writing songs. It is not until he is introduced to performance art that he learns...."the only way to become your true self, is to create your true self." He is born again here in Berlin. His chains have been broken. He is head strong. He goes full-force. He will conform to no one. He is more hurtful than ever.
I love Act II. A lot of things come back around full circle. Much how life is...every 7 years some say. That sort of fits here as well...the youth was about 14-15 when he first discovered himself as an artist to this point in the story, when he's about 22....hmmmm...STRANGE!! He gets struck with another musical revelation, no where near a church this time around. Thanks to Mr. Venus he's developed from cheesy pop song maker to a twisted poet. Edwina's jaw would hit the floor if she saw how much he "blackened up" for "the black one". If she could see just how much soul he put in his stroll, she. would. drop. dead. But, it's phony now just like it would have been phony then. He gets a first time high once again, but this time it's a heavier drug...take a guess at what it might be....if u guessed COKE...ding! ding! ding! Bring on the revelations and epiphanies! The Scaryotypes...pssssshhh...he doesn't need a band this time around, no sirree, he has created Mr. Middle Passage! Fuck that fishbowl, he has a stage. In Act I, you heard the Mom pour her heart out. You listened to her beg the youth to make room for her in his life. The youth asked "why do I have to change?" In Act II, another woman who loves him asks him to "come down now." "Remove your mask." His ultimate response..."it's not love if somebody has to change." He didn't see the point of love without understanding then, and he still does not to this day. Some things change, some things remain the same.
I will have to dedicate an entire blog to the triangle between the Mom, the Youth, and Desi. The relationship between them is like somebody ripped the pages out of the book of my life. My Mom has felt that way, because of me. I as a young person have been this selfish. I as a lover have felt this way on both ends...why should I have to change and my love is more real than all your dreams...ask me. I could go on and on but that would defeat the purpose of blogging about this later. LOL. I want to HUG STEW!! He can't possibly know how much this piece of work has touched my heart. How thankful I am to get to express the way I've felt, in ways that I couldn't imagine!! It's as if he's taken my life's journal, read it, deciphered the parts I left out, spied on me and my future self, figured out what kind of music I liked and made a play to tell me everything I need to know. WOW!! Are you really a magician Stew, because that will make me a bit hesitant to hug you....just sayin!! I probs still would though because I know full well, you have used your magic for good!! By creating this masterpiece Stew has painted pictures of my life and has given me the opportunity to express it in a way I love so much performance art. A story of an artist, written by an artist, performed by artists. Exquisite, like an orgasm in reverse.
Berlin...that's where we are for pretty much all of Act II. The setting is a complete shift from the setting of Act I. Amsterdam spring sunshine, L.A. the sun shines every day of the year. Berlin was ugly, cold, and cracked...the snow was all about. Although the weather was waaaaay nicer in the first act, the bleak weather in the second act is more fitting. the more concrete the "real" becomes...the bleaker things become. Makes sense after all. The real is not all happy, happy, joy, joy....sometimes it's damp and dark and cold. Sometimes it's an ugly truth. Things have got to be bad from time to time in order to recognize what makes you feel good. Like the youth says during "Stoned" in Act I...."It's like I can't get too comfortable. Otherwise I'll forget all the shit there is to complain about." "It's hard to write songs when your already in paradise". "Paradise is a bore." He realized that world was not his 'paradise' after all. Goodbye sex, drugs, and rock & roll!! That truly was a ton of fun. Indeed there will still be sex, there will still be drugs, there will still be rock and roll. But, it'll become more like...Making love, experimental escapes via drugs, and performance art. Sure, that doesn't have the same ring to it, but it's as real as ever!!
He continued on his journey to find "the real". Berlin: A black hole with Taxis. Berlin: A forest of sharp corners. Berlin: Swallowed if harmful. It was two miles from right, it was always all night. As soon as he hits the scene he's hit in the face with a RIOT!! Oh "May Day"!! I just love it!! I get so AMP. I don't know what it is about this song...well, I guess I do. I love that it sounds and feels like 90's house music!! It is the reason "Du Hast" is on my 'Passing Strange' play list. It sets the scene and introduces some wild characters. Individuals. Hugo, bitter music critic. Sudabey, post-modern pornographer and social critic. Mr. Venus, a. performance. artist. And Desi, the den mother and social engineer. This is the Nowhaus gang. Desi is the founder. "We wish to create an anti-bourgeois living community, that stands in opposition to capitalist society". Heavy huh? Waaaaaaay heavier than "We just had sex." Nowhaus was not looking for "the real", and they wouldn't hesitate to let Mr. youth know. They will all force valuable lessons upon him. Listening is waiting, he will take from it, what he will.
The youth has been on his own for quite some time now. Having a blast, creating, experimenting, destroying. He has matured a bit. He is developing a better understanding of "the real". He's still as selfish as ever. Has he learned any lessons? A while back he discovered his love of music. That love still reigns supreme. He's been writing songs. It is not until he is introduced to performance art that he learns...."the only way to become your true self, is to create your true self." He is born again here in Berlin. His chains have been broken. He is head strong. He goes full-force. He will conform to no one. He is more hurtful than ever.
I love Act II. A lot of things come back around full circle. Much how life is...every 7 years some say. That sort of fits here as well...the youth was about 14-15 when he first discovered himself as an artist to this point in the story, when he's about 22....hmmmm...STRANGE!! He gets struck with another musical revelation, no where near a church this time around. Thanks to Mr. Venus he's developed from cheesy pop song maker to a twisted poet. Edwina's jaw would hit the floor if she saw how much he "blackened up" for "the black one". If she could see just how much soul he put in his stroll, she. would. drop. dead. But, it's phony now just like it would have been phony then. He gets a first time high once again, but this time it's a heavier drug...take a guess at what it might be....if u guessed COKE...ding! ding! ding! Bring on the revelations and epiphanies! The Scaryotypes...pssssshhh...he doesn't need a band this time around, no sirree, he has created Mr. Middle Passage! Fuck that fishbowl, he has a stage. In Act I, you heard the Mom pour her heart out. You listened to her beg the youth to make room for her in his life. The youth asked "why do I have to change?" In Act II, another woman who loves him asks him to "come down now." "Remove your mask." His ultimate response..."it's not love if somebody has to change." He didn't see the point of love without understanding then, and he still does not to this day. Some things change, some things remain the same.
I will have to dedicate an entire blog to the triangle between the Mom, the Youth, and Desi. The relationship between them is like somebody ripped the pages out of the book of my life. My Mom has felt that way, because of me. I as a young person have been this selfish. I as a lover have felt this way on both ends...why should I have to change and my love is more real than all your dreams...ask me. I could go on and on but that would defeat the purpose of blogging about this later. LOL. I want to HUG STEW!! He can't possibly know how much this piece of work has touched my heart. How thankful I am to get to express the way I've felt, in ways that I couldn't imagine!! It's as if he's taken my life's journal, read it, deciphered the parts I left out, spied on me and my future self, figured out what kind of music I liked and made a play to tell me everything I need to know. WOW!! Are you really a magician Stew, because that will make me a bit hesitant to hug you....just sayin!! I probs still would though because I know full well, you have used your magic for good!! By creating this masterpiece Stew has painted pictures of my life and has given me the opportunity to express it in a way I love so much performance art. A story of an artist, written by an artist, performed by artists. Exquisite, like an orgasm in reverse.
8.19.2011
it's all cool breezy baby
10 days!! Really. It's been 10 days since I've last blogged. That's a shame. Oh well, don't live in the past...revel in the present and look forward to the future, since my birthday is 10 days from now aaaaaand we will be in the space 10 days from now!! :) OMG!! This process is flying by!! I am so happy, although I work 9 hour days and go straight from work, to rehearsal, to bed, to work, to rehearsal...lather, rinse, repeat!! When I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind, I breathe it all in and remember that all this 'mayhem' keeps me stimulated, vigorous, satisfied, grateful. I love what I do. Whenever I get to express my creativity I feel liberated. I. can't. imagine. my. life. without. art! Looking back, I've always been an artist. Whether it be cooking, interior design, fashion, I have always craved art! Performance art has most definitely stepped out front and center these days!! I love to perform, it's so fulfilling! Especially when it thrills others and makes an impact! 'Passing Strange' is a joy!! A priceless experience for me as an artist. It allows me to impact and thrill and so much more. On top of that, I'm living the story I'm telling, which is so rare. I am mos def a lost soul, searching for the "real", but this experience has been like a cheat sheet for me. Things I have questioned before, I don't question anymore. Absolutely priceless....and oh so pleasurable too might I add ;)
Stew is a brilliant poetic magician and I just can't get enough! Ask people who know me well enough to know my quirky fears/apprehensions and they will tell you....I don't F with magicians, but in this case it's 100% okay. ;) I will be an apprentice to Stew's magicianry any day!! This show is so harmonious. The music and the lyrics are like cake and ice-cream....quite delicious separately, but put them together and you've got yourself a party!! The earworms are so catchy not only in musical setup and lyrics but in the way it transports your emotional status. They put you at ease one moment and prick you like a needle the next. Three words, three notes can grab your full attention. That's exactly what "listening is waiting" has done for us strange-ers. One night after rehearsal, Scott asked us what "listening is waiting" means. I try to always keep this in mind: Never forget the message you received and always be perceptive of the message others receive. "Listening is waiting" has always stood out to me and the message I received was that something you need to listen to is waiting on you to listen. Another perspective on that little earworm was more like listening = waiting. Active (listening, as opposed to hearing) is passive (waiting). I can dig that too. I however feel that it's more so like this....Listening is waiting, so listen. Listening is waiting, pay attention. listen....informal....to convey a particular impression to the hearer; sound: The new recording doesn't listen as well as the old one. You can take that and say the recording is a 'listening' and if that 'listening' is waiting then I'd think it was waiting on you, to listen. When I have asked people what does listening is waiting mean to them they usually say right off the bat...shut up and listen. The way the melody is sung even sounds like a lovely announcement chime. Intentionally so, to send your mind into listening mode. I could talk about this forever and a day but I'll let good ol' Facebook lay this one to rest(LOL). After rehearsal, Andrea's status update was "listening is waiting" and the first comment was, "what are you listening to." Exactly. Listening is waiting, take from it what you will. That's how I would sum up how "listening is waiting" is meant to be taken in the show. Once again Stew, you and your magic....cool breezy one moment and knee-deep in our footnotes the next. Now that's some magic I want to be a part of.
Since we're on the subject of magic, let's talk about where the magic happens....BLOCKING!! We've completely BLOCKED and RAN Act 1 since I've last blogged. It's officially a full body experience!! No more sitting in chairs and singing. We are singing and moving with purpose. It's so important to know what that purpose is and what it means to you. In my view, that's the key to honest delivery. Direction is also key. To have a director that knows precisely what he wants is fantastic. To have a director that expects you to exercise your right to artistic freedom is that much greater. To have a director with keen discernment, that makes for non-stop high quality. During 'Evita' I remember trying to visualize how the whole chair thing would work out and imagining it looking so incredibly awkward! In the end it was the best part of the structure of the show. Oh gosh how could I ever forget "Rolling on in" during 'Evita'. We 86'd a few Miller-ography routines before we got where we needed to be, but Scott always used that discernment to work it out. I trust him. Nowadays if I think something may look like WTF I just go for it because I know that if he sees it and it truly does look like WTF, he will alter his vision and make it work. Blocking is always fun. Sometimes it's more than what I imagined it would be. Sometimes it's not at all what I thought it would be....don't get me started on "we just had sex"... but I mean, I imagined the cha-cha and a possible ring around the rosie segment.... so yea, that didn't happen : /
I thought things went pretty smoothly during the run. I tested out my accent and nobody laughed and so that was exciting. I'm gonna keep working on it day by day. It was cool to travel so many different places and become so many different people. I was lovin it!! Plastic land L.A. to Amsterdam spring sunshine. Some things didn't go my way, I was disappointed, I got over it. I still can't decide who's my fav. I get to go from normal chick in the family band, to Mrs. Kelso, to Sherry, to Renata. It's fun to play, it's fun to pretend. I brought a scarf and some other things with me to rehearsal to get used to transforming in an instant. With the scarf it's a toss up between Sherry and Mrs. Kelso for my fav. Mrs. Kelso is one of those random characters, just in the scene for a bit but I'm having so much fun bringing her to life. Sherry rocks!! I dig her attitude and personality!! It's kind of awkward to me because I've decided Mrs. Kelso is either Sherry's Mom or Aunt so maybe I don't have to decide...I can give the title to Renata who is also the bees knees. :) that scarf really helped me!! I could tie it a million different ways and quickly look like a different person, portray a different attitude with comfort and ease. It was a lot of fun! I have no idea what costumes will be like, I'm assuming minimal though. We all had a blast running Act 1!! We laughed, we doubted, we wailed, we debated, we delivered. I love this cast!! We get closer and closer every rehearsal. Precious moments.
This show is all about "the real" and so our portrayals have got to be more than real, after all, this is art. I love that the narrator is so natural. This is his story of his journey as an artist, through his eyes. He has made every character real. Some more real than others, some making a bigger impact on his life, but all real in their way. All playing a part of the gospel of a youth's journey to find "the real". I feel all of us strange-ers relate to the youth in some way and have gone through similar conflicts. He will be overwhelmed with "real" experiences. He will be loved, he will break hearts. He will lose, he will win, he will find what he's been searching for. We get to play along.....HOLLA!! 'Passing Strange' closed July 2008 it's August 2011 how cool is that!! This is refreshing. Musical theatre like nothing else. Bring on Act 2....then full runs....EEEEEEEEEE!!!
Stew is a brilliant poetic magician and I just can't get enough! Ask people who know me well enough to know my quirky fears/apprehensions and they will tell you....I don't F with magicians, but in this case it's 100% okay. ;) I will be an apprentice to Stew's magicianry any day!! This show is so harmonious. The music and the lyrics are like cake and ice-cream....quite delicious separately, but put them together and you've got yourself a party!! The earworms are so catchy not only in musical setup and lyrics but in the way it transports your emotional status. They put you at ease one moment and prick you like a needle the next. Three words, three notes can grab your full attention. That's exactly what "listening is waiting" has done for us strange-ers. One night after rehearsal, Scott asked us what "listening is waiting" means. I try to always keep this in mind: Never forget the message you received and always be perceptive of the message others receive. "Listening is waiting" has always stood out to me and the message I received was that something you need to listen to is waiting on you to listen. Another perspective on that little earworm was more like listening = waiting. Active (listening, as opposed to hearing) is passive (waiting). I can dig that too. I however feel that it's more so like this....Listening is waiting, so listen. Listening is waiting, pay attention. listen....informal....to convey a particular impression to the hearer; sound: The new recording doesn't listen as well as the old one. You can take that and say the recording is a 'listening' and if that 'listening' is waiting then I'd think it was waiting on you, to listen. When I have asked people what does listening is waiting mean to them they usually say right off the bat...shut up and listen. The way the melody is sung even sounds like a lovely announcement chime. Intentionally so, to send your mind into listening mode. I could talk about this forever and a day but I'll let good ol' Facebook lay this one to rest(LOL). After rehearsal, Andrea's status update was "listening is waiting" and the first comment was, "what are you listening to." Exactly. Listening is waiting, take from it what you will. That's how I would sum up how "listening is waiting" is meant to be taken in the show. Once again Stew, you and your magic....cool breezy one moment and knee-deep in our footnotes the next. Now that's some magic I want to be a part of.
Since we're on the subject of magic, let's talk about where the magic happens....BLOCKING!! We've completely BLOCKED and RAN Act 1 since I've last blogged. It's officially a full body experience!! No more sitting in chairs and singing. We are singing and moving with purpose. It's so important to know what that purpose is and what it means to you. In my view, that's the key to honest delivery. Direction is also key. To have a director that knows precisely what he wants is fantastic. To have a director that expects you to exercise your right to artistic freedom is that much greater. To have a director with keen discernment, that makes for non-stop high quality. During 'Evita' I remember trying to visualize how the whole chair thing would work out and imagining it looking so incredibly awkward! In the end it was the best part of the structure of the show. Oh gosh how could I ever forget "Rolling on in" during 'Evita'. We 86'd a few Miller-ography routines before we got where we needed to be, but Scott always used that discernment to work it out. I trust him. Nowadays if I think something may look like WTF I just go for it because I know that if he sees it and it truly does look like WTF, he will alter his vision and make it work. Blocking is always fun. Sometimes it's more than what I imagined it would be. Sometimes it's not at all what I thought it would be....don't get me started on "we just had sex"... but I mean, I imagined the cha-cha and a possible ring around the rosie segment.... so yea, that didn't happen : /
I thought things went pretty smoothly during the run. I tested out my accent and nobody laughed and so that was exciting. I'm gonna keep working on it day by day. It was cool to travel so many different places and become so many different people. I was lovin it!! Plastic land L.A. to Amsterdam spring sunshine. Some things didn't go my way, I was disappointed, I got over it. I still can't decide who's my fav. I get to go from normal chick in the family band, to Mrs. Kelso, to Sherry, to Renata. It's fun to play, it's fun to pretend. I brought a scarf and some other things with me to rehearsal to get used to transforming in an instant. With the scarf it's a toss up between Sherry and Mrs. Kelso for my fav. Mrs. Kelso is one of those random characters, just in the scene for a bit but I'm having so much fun bringing her to life. Sherry rocks!! I dig her attitude and personality!! It's kind of awkward to me because I've decided Mrs. Kelso is either Sherry's Mom or Aunt so maybe I don't have to decide...I can give the title to Renata who is also the bees knees. :) that scarf really helped me!! I could tie it a million different ways and quickly look like a different person, portray a different attitude with comfort and ease. It was a lot of fun! I have no idea what costumes will be like, I'm assuming minimal though. We all had a blast running Act 1!! We laughed, we doubted, we wailed, we debated, we delivered. I love this cast!! We get closer and closer every rehearsal. Precious moments.
This show is all about "the real" and so our portrayals have got to be more than real, after all, this is art. I love that the narrator is so natural. This is his story of his journey as an artist, through his eyes. He has made every character real. Some more real than others, some making a bigger impact on his life, but all real in their way. All playing a part of the gospel of a youth's journey to find "the real". I feel all of us strange-ers relate to the youth in some way and have gone through similar conflicts. He will be overwhelmed with "real" experiences. He will be loved, he will break hearts. He will lose, he will win, he will find what he's been searching for. We get to play along.....HOLLA!! 'Passing Strange' closed July 2008 it's August 2011 how cool is that!! This is refreshing. Musical theatre like nothing else. Bring on Act 2....then full runs....EEEEEEEEEE!!!
8.09.2011
It's starting to feel real
Sunday evening we all got together to share the 'Passing Strange' experience at Charles and Nikki's place. Nikki is such a great host and did a fantastic job of making us feel welcome and comfy and full :) Thanks Nikki!! A few of us hadn't seen the film in it's entirety and I know it helped connect scenes with music and lyrics. It was so cool watching the movie with everyone humming along. To feel the emotion stir up in the room. I was taking notes whenever I wasn't completely entranced. The one thing that lives throughout this entire show is ENERGY ENERGY ENERGY!!! Larger than life yet so believable. Every single person is so invested and that much more committed to the story they are living. I admire that. I want to spark that same energy within me. However, I don't think I'm going to watch the film anymore. I don't want to begin to sculpt my character around the way Rebecca Naomi Jones sculpted hers. I don't want to have the exact same inflections or accents or emotional responses. I don't want to copy and paste, I want to live the story through MY eyes. It's easy to imitate, it's harder to craft. Well, I made up my mind a long time ago....I'm a craftsman!! I've taken what I need from the film and now I'm ready to start making it my own.
I'm still holding back and I've gotta knock it off because time, as always, is not on my side. We only have weeks to get this together. The original cast had years of performing together by the time the film was produced. I am extremely intimidated, but more than that I'm capable!! I have been truly moved by this show and so I cannot let myself down and in turn let you down. Looks like it's about that time. Time to break it down to a science. I play an abundance of characters in various settings. I have to get to know them all, intimately. Characters have to be discovered, developed, cultivated. I couldn't play any part without knowing the person I'm playing. This is one of my favorite parts of the process. I love that this art form gives you the freedom to work your imagination. I get the basic structure of the character and then it's up to me how far I develop them. Well, I like to get all up in their business!! I like to ask questions that may not seem like they matter but that paint the picture, for me, as to who they are. Of course you want to ask the obvious questions...what's your name?, what's your age?, what relationships do you share? I like to ask even more questions like...What's your sign?, What's your favorite color?, Who's your favorite band? LOL I love it!! I want to be comfortable with the character I'm portraying so I'll ask some of the silliest questions ever! It helps me relax and not be so serious about it all. Acting is lot less fantasy than it is hard work!
Monday nights full read through/sing through was interesting. Nothing crashed and burned. We got through it. It is needless to say it will get smoother as time goes by. When I close my eyes and just groove to the music, I feel the emphasis is on the 1 and the 3. It's still very much so rock and roll but with more swagger. 'Rent' I felt was very 2 and 4 heavy. Rock and roll as well but that emphasis gives a different feel. It may just be me but if you listen you'll agree. I can't wait to drop my script and just groove. Which reminds me, it's time for the 'Passing Strange' play list. My 'Two Gents' play list was easy enough...I had lots of 70's music. But this one will be a bit challenging since it's all over the place style wise. I dig it though and the play list is a vital part of the process. I don't want to drown in the recording but I want to surround myself with the style and inspiration. I think I'm gonna make a collage as well, when I was googled Fillmore West, there were some bad-ass posters I'd love to see on a daily basis! I'm going for the opposite of out of sight out of mind.....LIVE IT. BREATH IT.
Blocking starts Tuesday. Yeeeeeaaaaahhh Miller-ography!! Excited! Out of the chairs and onto the floor. This is where it becomes a full body experience. There must be a clear purpose behind every word and every action. It's time to make way for the real. I'm extremely anxious to see what Scott has in store. I imagine the way I think some things will look. I wonder if any of my thoughts and ideas will match up...hmmmm...We shall see. While watching the film I noticed a lot of it was loosely choreographed. We don't have a choreographer. This will be interesting. I wonder how much freedom we will have. There is a great deal of pantomime, exaggerated movements, melting into place. I love it all. What I loved most while watching the film is that everyone is so comfortable with each other. I think that is key! This is a small cast with a very minimal set. It will be entirely up to us to deliver! No hiding behind lavish costumes and outrageous props and set. RAW. BLANK. The music and lyrics already do a wonderful job painting the picture. As a performer I want to paint an honest picture most of all, I don't care how pretty it's perceived to be. I want you to be moved the way I was moved when I saw this. It's time to put in WORK!
I'm still holding back and I've gotta knock it off because time, as always, is not on my side. We only have weeks to get this together. The original cast had years of performing together by the time the film was produced. I am extremely intimidated, but more than that I'm capable!! I have been truly moved by this show and so I cannot let myself down and in turn let you down. Looks like it's about that time. Time to break it down to a science. I play an abundance of characters in various settings. I have to get to know them all, intimately. Characters have to be discovered, developed, cultivated. I couldn't play any part without knowing the person I'm playing. This is one of my favorite parts of the process. I love that this art form gives you the freedom to work your imagination. I get the basic structure of the character and then it's up to me how far I develop them. Well, I like to get all up in their business!! I like to ask questions that may not seem like they matter but that paint the picture, for me, as to who they are. Of course you want to ask the obvious questions...what's your name?, what's your age?, what relationships do you share? I like to ask even more questions like...What's your sign?, What's your favorite color?, Who's your favorite band? LOL I love it!! I want to be comfortable with the character I'm portraying so I'll ask some of the silliest questions ever! It helps me relax and not be so serious about it all. Acting is lot less fantasy than it is hard work!
Monday nights full read through/sing through was interesting. Nothing crashed and burned. We got through it. It is needless to say it will get smoother as time goes by. When I close my eyes and just groove to the music, I feel the emphasis is on the 1 and the 3. It's still very much so rock and roll but with more swagger. 'Rent' I felt was very 2 and 4 heavy. Rock and roll as well but that emphasis gives a different feel. It may just be me but if you listen you'll agree. I can't wait to drop my script and just groove. Which reminds me, it's time for the 'Passing Strange' play list. My 'Two Gents' play list was easy enough...I had lots of 70's music. But this one will be a bit challenging since it's all over the place style wise. I dig it though and the play list is a vital part of the process. I don't want to drown in the recording but I want to surround myself with the style and inspiration. I think I'm gonna make a collage as well, when I was googled Fillmore West, there were some bad-ass posters I'd love to see on a daily basis! I'm going for the opposite of out of sight out of mind.....LIVE IT. BREATH IT.
Blocking starts Tuesday. Yeeeeeaaaaahhh Miller-ography!! Excited! Out of the chairs and onto the floor. This is where it becomes a full body experience. There must be a clear purpose behind every word and every action. It's time to make way for the real. I'm extremely anxious to see what Scott has in store. I imagine the way I think some things will look. I wonder if any of my thoughts and ideas will match up...hmmmm...We shall see. While watching the film I noticed a lot of it was loosely choreographed. We don't have a choreographer. This will be interesting. I wonder how much freedom we will have. There is a great deal of pantomime, exaggerated movements, melting into place. I love it all. What I loved most while watching the film is that everyone is so comfortable with each other. I think that is key! This is a small cast with a very minimal set. It will be entirely up to us to deliver! No hiding behind lavish costumes and outrageous props and set. RAW. BLANK. The music and lyrics already do a wonderful job painting the picture. As a performer I want to paint an honest picture most of all, I don't care how pretty it's perceived to be. I want you to be moved the way I was moved when I saw this. It's time to put in WORK!
8.04.2011
Is it alright?
I don't know why in the hell I would start this blog under this condition. I am freakin WASTED!! But hey, I can always edit it later and it's nice to speak my mind with little to no filter!!<-----Well...That was Monday night...and today is Wednesday(Thursday now) and let's just say...this. has. been. edited. ;) had to cut a bunch of the ranting and rambling! No worries though, there's still plenty.
This process has been coming together rather quickly. We've already gone over all the music and it's the second week of rehearsal!! Awesome! I blush when I think about this production. I have complete faith in Scott and I know that he has complete faith in us. Otherwise, why would he ever move so quickly ;) just sayin. We have a mini read through/sing through soon and I'm excited!! I think I'm mostly excited because I know Miller-ography is right around the corner. It's gonna be a blasty blast.
It's not all Amsterdam spring sunshine and rainbows. No no no....I am absolutely terrified of this whole accent thing. German.....Dutch....I'm freakin out!! EEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Breath, breath........aaaaaaaaaahhhh. Okay, I'm gonna just throw that shit out of the window though because FEAR is TREASON! Life is passion and fear is treason. I learned that during 'Two Gents'. It's another one of those lines that just stuck with me. It's just blatant truth. Fear will block paths. Fear is betrayal to your art form and in love there must be no fear. There is NO doubt...I LOVE THIS and so I shall have NO fear, I will exercise some discretion, but I shall have NO fear. Fear builds barriers and as a performer I want no barriers, I want to connect in every way possible. Well, since I've kicked fear to the curb I'd better develop a plan of attack! I mean, just because there isn't fear doesn't mean the challenge went away! I've got to surround myself with the dialects. If I hear it, I can duplicate it. If I practice, I will duplicate it well, and that's what I intend to do...fingers crossed ;)
Monday's rehearsal was a ton of fun! It was all sex drugs and rock and roll!! The sex..."we just had sex" of course! I love that it's so lighthearted. the lines that always pop out to me when this song is looping through my head are "it's really no big deal that we just had sex" and "you might find it quite risque, but it's the European way". You really feel the shift in culture. I imagine us cha cha-ing from partner to partner la la la-ing all the while. This show is full of songs where I get to la la la and I'm loving every minute of it :) I was listening to the recording and one of the ladies hits a high note and I was like daaaaaaamn, I like that!! I'm gonna try for it next go round...if it gets vetoed that's cool. No fear. On to the drugs please. LOL. Oh "Amsterdam", this song sounds like smiles and sunshine and like there's hashish on the menu. Wonderful!! It sets the scene with all vices in full view and I love how it introduces the characters. The youth's mind is most definitely blown upon arrival. It makes me want to jet to Europe right now!!! Last but not least rock and roll. "Surface" is pretty damn intense to say the least. Layers upon layers of realizations and proclamations! Sexy bass lines and guitar riffs! Chanting, shouting, wailing! Beating on the drums like they stole something! "welcome to Mr. Venus' riot cabaret." That's entrancing. It's thrilling. I want to be sitting center table in that smoke and angst filled venue. I learned that what's inside is just a lie and that only love is real and gained the courage to bleed. And what's this I hear about Molotov cocktails and a vocoder? ;)
Things got real mellow Tuesday. All groovy emotional tunes. Tuesday's rehearsal had me head over heels in my feelings. I love that this show does that to you. Far out, humming along, tapping your foot one minute, immersed in deep thought the next. I learned "Come down now". I get to pour my heart and soul out. That song is personally touching to me, much like "Mom's song". Relationships are hard. You can both feel the same way but not want the same thing. You can both want the same thing but not feel the same way. Love and understanding, should the two go hand in hand or stand at opposing ends? "All you gotta do is ask me, I'll give you all the love life allows" my sentiments exactly. If that were said to me, here's what I would do....ASK YOU!! I love a boy who believes, it's not love if somebody has to change. I don't doubt that this boy loves me, I don't doubt that he believes love and understanding go hand in hand. I have come to believe that they should stand at opposing ends because after all "only love is real"....am I right? Relationships are hard. Enough of that jazz.
Tonight's mini read through/sing through was not a complete success but it was also not an epic fail! We are loosening up and letting go. We're all getting together at Charles and Nikki's to watch the film this Sunday and I'm so excited!! I've seen it a few times but I think it's so great, I could watch it over and over. I know it's gonna help develop a feel for what's going on scene to scene. Sometimes it's hard to imagine with just music and lyrics. I can't wait until these songs become experiences. That will come with blocking. Real read through/sing through is Monday. Perfect timing after our viewing party :)
My week has been mad hectic. Work and rehearsal and meetings and social life. I'm okay with that though. I get satisfaction from what I do and that means so much to me. I am living life, not just 'tumble-weeding'. I'm happy, I am alive and well, for the most part. I'm happy, there is a script in my back seat. I am truly thankful for opportunities that have been coming my way. I'm going to milk them, make ice-cream and then have an ice-cream social. hahahahaha!! WTF, that's kinda creepy and gross as hell. I don't know why in the hell I would end this blog under this condition, I am deliriously tired!! But hey, It's nice to speak my mind with little to no filter and I know you wont judge me for it. I think I'm gonna go to bed now.
This process has been coming together rather quickly. We've already gone over all the music and it's the second week of rehearsal!! Awesome! I blush when I think about this production. I have complete faith in Scott and I know that he has complete faith in us. Otherwise, why would he ever move so quickly ;) just sayin. We have a mini read through/sing through soon and I'm excited!! I think I'm mostly excited because I know Miller-ography is right around the corner. It's gonna be a blasty blast.
It's not all Amsterdam spring sunshine and rainbows. No no no....I am absolutely terrified of this whole accent thing. German.....Dutch....I'm freakin out!! EEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Breath, breath........aaaaaaaaaahhhh. Okay, I'm gonna just throw that shit out of the window though because FEAR is TREASON! Life is passion and fear is treason. I learned that during 'Two Gents'. It's another one of those lines that just stuck with me. It's just blatant truth. Fear will block paths. Fear is betrayal to your art form and in love there must be no fear. There is NO doubt...I LOVE THIS and so I shall have NO fear, I will exercise some discretion, but I shall have NO fear. Fear builds barriers and as a performer I want no barriers, I want to connect in every way possible. Well, since I've kicked fear to the curb I'd better develop a plan of attack! I mean, just because there isn't fear doesn't mean the challenge went away! I've got to surround myself with the dialects. If I hear it, I can duplicate it. If I practice, I will duplicate it well, and that's what I intend to do...fingers crossed ;)
Monday's rehearsal was a ton of fun! It was all sex drugs and rock and roll!! The sex..."we just had sex" of course! I love that it's so lighthearted. the lines that always pop out to me when this song is looping through my head are "it's really no big deal that we just had sex" and "you might find it quite risque, but it's the European way". You really feel the shift in culture. I imagine us cha cha-ing from partner to partner la la la-ing all the while. This show is full of songs where I get to la la la and I'm loving every minute of it :) I was listening to the recording and one of the ladies hits a high note and I was like daaaaaaamn, I like that!! I'm gonna try for it next go round...if it gets vetoed that's cool. No fear. On to the drugs please. LOL. Oh "Amsterdam", this song sounds like smiles and sunshine and like there's hashish on the menu. Wonderful!! It sets the scene with all vices in full view and I love how it introduces the characters. The youth's mind is most definitely blown upon arrival. It makes me want to jet to Europe right now!!! Last but not least rock and roll. "Surface" is pretty damn intense to say the least. Layers upon layers of realizations and proclamations! Sexy bass lines and guitar riffs! Chanting, shouting, wailing! Beating on the drums like they stole something! "welcome to Mr. Venus' riot cabaret." That's entrancing. It's thrilling. I want to be sitting center table in that smoke and angst filled venue. I learned that what's inside is just a lie and that only love is real and gained the courage to bleed. And what's this I hear about Molotov cocktails and a vocoder? ;)
Things got real mellow Tuesday. All groovy emotional tunes. Tuesday's rehearsal had me head over heels in my feelings. I love that this show does that to you. Far out, humming along, tapping your foot one minute, immersed in deep thought the next. I learned "Come down now". I get to pour my heart and soul out. That song is personally touching to me, much like "Mom's song". Relationships are hard. You can both feel the same way but not want the same thing. You can both want the same thing but not feel the same way. Love and understanding, should the two go hand in hand or stand at opposing ends? "All you gotta do is ask me, I'll give you all the love life allows" my sentiments exactly. If that were said to me, here's what I would do....ASK YOU!! I love a boy who believes, it's not love if somebody has to change. I don't doubt that this boy loves me, I don't doubt that he believes love and understanding go hand in hand. I have come to believe that they should stand at opposing ends because after all "only love is real"....am I right? Relationships are hard. Enough of that jazz.
Tonight's mini read through/sing through was not a complete success but it was also not an epic fail! We are loosening up and letting go. We're all getting together at Charles and Nikki's to watch the film this Sunday and I'm so excited!! I've seen it a few times but I think it's so great, I could watch it over and over. I know it's gonna help develop a feel for what's going on scene to scene. Sometimes it's hard to imagine with just music and lyrics. I can't wait until these songs become experiences. That will come with blocking. Real read through/sing through is Monday. Perfect timing after our viewing party :)
My week has been mad hectic. Work and rehearsal and meetings and social life. I'm okay with that though. I get satisfaction from what I do and that means so much to me. I am living life, not just 'tumble-weeding'. I'm happy, I am alive and well, for the most part. I'm happy, there is a script in my back seat. I am truly thankful for opportunities that have been coming my way. I'm going to milk them, make ice-cream and then have an ice-cream social. hahahahaha!! WTF, that's kinda creepy and gross as hell. I don't know why in the hell I would end this blog under this condition, I am deliriously tired!! But hey, It's nice to speak my mind with little to no filter and I know you wont judge me for it. I think I'm gonna go to bed now.
7.29.2011
and now I'm ready......to explode!!!
Aaaaaaaawwwww yeeeeeaaaa boooooiiii!!! We worked on "May Day" the other night. Let's just say it is waaaaaaave more chaotic and intense than I thought it would be, but guess what, I like it just as much...maybe even more than before :P This song gets me AMP because we're singing what's happening. We sound like sirens, it sounds like chaos it's so raunchy and rebellious. And just when I thought life couldn't get cooler....I get to rap!!! Chika chika what!! Well, I guess it's really more like rhythmic spoken word, but I wanna feel cool, so I'm calling it rap! I'm so happy I recorded this rehearsal, other wise I'd be done for!! These songs are so challenging rhythmically. Especially for the narrator DAMN there's some stuff he has to do that literally boggles my mind. My head hurts just thinking about it. But soon enough it'll all become second nature and we'll start adding in our own personal stash of swag. OOOOOUUUUUUWEEEEE!! SWAG!
I spent a lovely Friday evening with my granny at a Tye Tribbett gospel concert and it was too much fun!!! I ran into Tyla and my buddy T.J. which was cool. But anyway, we can learn a lot from Tye Tribbett and his troop. Lively, energetic, passionate, real. Full of the holy spirit, full of catchy refrains. There was shouting and clapping and tears of joy, they even did a praise dance which was sooooo awesome. 'Passing Strange' has encompassed the black religious experience and I think it's beautiful. I want to be sure to not mock, but embody to the extreme. Stew and company have been very respectful and dead on in that sense. That concert was so much like Baptist fashion show in the way of call and response and the jumping for joy....literally. People went there to feel the spirit...and we did!! Music IS the freight train in which God travels! That concert proved it! It was so joyous and uplifting. It was especially touching for me to see my Granny happy and to know that it was because I was in her presence with the Lord. Precious moments.
It's like a mirror, this show, a reflection of my life. When I listen to the lyrics of 'Mom's song', I hear her heart. My granny plays the role of the mother. Always knowing, always loving, not always understanding. I play the role of the youth, defiant, bold and in hot pursuit of the real. "See I've been running from this world for far longer than you." That's brilliant and clarifying. You think your chasing but at some point you'll realize your actually running!! And you'd better run on the straight and narrow or you'll end up on the island of bad. <--you like that Scott?) Then you'll be asking yourself "What did I do to deserve this?" the better question is "What didn't I do to avoid this?". My granny loves me and she is so wise. Listening is waiting, and I need to listen, listen, listen.
It's funny how things change. It's funny how even the wildest turn mild. It's funny how you never say 'when I was younger' until you've matured in some sense. Then it gets scary, when u do some reflecting with your new, mature, aspect on life. I've done a lot of floating, tumbleweeding if you will,just breezing through life. Acting now and dealing later. I'm only just now really, truly, realizing that this is my life and it's the only one I've got. That is such a powerful line for me. This is your life and there aint no way out. That's so true, it's chilling. It's like a bucket of cold water to the face!! Makes you wanna change paths and right wrongs and live fully.
There are so many profound messages within the songs in this show. I love "the Black one"!! A fun little show tune where the youth gets to paint the picture of Black America....but he's posing because has he ever personally been oppressed?.....NO!! I've never met anyone who always thought it was ok to be who they are. We are constantly trying to fit into the norm. Most of the time faking it until we make it or until we just develop our own "norm". I love how the youth is pretending to be this "ghetto warrior" when he's really this kid from the suburbs. He's trying to stand out.....to fit in. He's pretending for the sake of others acceptance. For a long time in my life, I had to deal with...."you talk White.", "you act White." etc etc etc. It had me thinking that I wasn't being true to myself. So I'd try to "talk Black" and "act Black" It mostly left me conflicted and confused. I have since recognized that I speak how I speak and I act how I act! Anyone who is trying to categorize or generalize me is trying to destroy my individualism and I'm not gonna stand for it!! It's amazing how this show is so all in all relatable. Even if you're not "the Black one" you can relate because we all have tried being something that we are not in order to feel accepted. DEEP.
I want every adolescent in the world to see this show. Every single one in the whole wide world!!! It's life shaping!! Hell, I want every HUMAN in the world to see this show, especially if you think you've got life all figured out. Double check your answers here!! Since I've been digging deep into it, I feel like I've got all the answers I need for life and now it's on! I'm equipped and I want to share it. I'm ready, willing, and nervous. REAL is all throughout this show and I want my performance to come off that way. Raw, natural, authentic, REAL. This is going to be a challenge, but, I'm gonna devour this elephant one tasty bite at a time. I'm gonna grow and stretch and expand and develop! I'm gonna take it all in like a black hole and now...I'm ready to explode!!
I spent a lovely Friday evening with my granny at a Tye Tribbett gospel concert and it was too much fun!!! I ran into Tyla and my buddy T.J. which was cool. But anyway, we can learn a lot from Tye Tribbett and his troop. Lively, energetic, passionate, real. Full of the holy spirit, full of catchy refrains. There was shouting and clapping and tears of joy, they even did a praise dance which was sooooo awesome. 'Passing Strange' has encompassed the black religious experience and I think it's beautiful. I want to be sure to not mock, but embody to the extreme. Stew and company have been very respectful and dead on in that sense. That concert was so much like Baptist fashion show in the way of call and response and the jumping for joy....literally. People went there to feel the spirit...and we did!! Music IS the freight train in which God travels! That concert proved it! It was so joyous and uplifting. It was especially touching for me to see my Granny happy and to know that it was because I was in her presence with the Lord. Precious moments.
It's like a mirror, this show, a reflection of my life. When I listen to the lyrics of 'Mom's song', I hear her heart. My granny plays the role of the mother. Always knowing, always loving, not always understanding. I play the role of the youth, defiant, bold and in hot pursuit of the real. "See I've been running from this world for far longer than you." That's brilliant and clarifying. You think your chasing but at some point you'll realize your actually running!! And you'd better run on the straight and narrow or you'll end up on the island of bad. <--you like that Scott?) Then you'll be asking yourself "What did I do to deserve this?" the better question is "What didn't I do to avoid this?". My granny loves me and she is so wise. Listening is waiting, and I need to listen, listen, listen.
It's funny how things change. It's funny how even the wildest turn mild. It's funny how you never say 'when I was younger' until you've matured in some sense. Then it gets scary, when u do some reflecting with your new, mature, aspect on life. I've done a lot of floating, tumbleweeding if you will,just breezing through life. Acting now and dealing later. I'm only just now really, truly, realizing that this is my life and it's the only one I've got. That is such a powerful line for me. This is your life and there aint no way out. That's so true, it's chilling. It's like a bucket of cold water to the face!! Makes you wanna change paths and right wrongs and live fully.
There are so many profound messages within the songs in this show. I love "the Black one"!! A fun little show tune where the youth gets to paint the picture of Black America....but he's posing because has he ever personally been oppressed?.....NO!! I've never met anyone who always thought it was ok to be who they are. We are constantly trying to fit into the norm. Most of the time faking it until we make it or until we just develop our own "norm". I love how the youth is pretending to be this "ghetto warrior" when he's really this kid from the suburbs. He's trying to stand out.....to fit in. He's pretending for the sake of others acceptance. For a long time in my life, I had to deal with...."you talk White.", "you act White." etc etc etc. It had me thinking that I wasn't being true to myself. So I'd try to "talk Black" and "act Black" It mostly left me conflicted and confused. I have since recognized that I speak how I speak and I act how I act! Anyone who is trying to categorize or generalize me is trying to destroy my individualism and I'm not gonna stand for it!! It's amazing how this show is so all in all relatable. Even if you're not "the Black one" you can relate because we all have tried being something that we are not in order to feel accepted. DEEP.
I want every adolescent in the world to see this show. Every single one in the whole wide world!!! It's life shaping!! Hell, I want every HUMAN in the world to see this show, especially if you think you've got life all figured out. Double check your answers here!! Since I've been digging deep into it, I feel like I've got all the answers I need for life and now it's on! I'm equipped and I want to share it. I'm ready, willing, and nervous. REAL is all throughout this show and I want my performance to come off that way. Raw, natural, authentic, REAL. This is going to be a challenge, but, I'm gonna devour this elephant one tasty bite at a time. I'm gonna grow and stretch and expand and develop! I'm gonna take it all in like a black hole and now...I'm ready to explode!!
7.27.2011
La la La la La, La la La la La
We worked on some fun songs last night!! I'm gonna say my fav is "Merci Beaucoup, M. Godard". La la la la la, la la la la la. It's GREAT!! Naked girls at breakfast tables....not here in the STATES!! That line jets me off to a foreign land. I get wide eyed and bushy tailed. GASP! ooooouuuuu aaaaaaaahhh!!! It's just so much fun!!! There is so much going on. Between Andrea and I La La La-ing, you've got Charles setting the scene, and Keith shouting things like..."Adieu Disneyland!" and "ciao, ciao Mr. Reagan!". I LOVE it so much!! Oow oow oow... sexy stewardess....HELL YEA!! I'll rock that role any day!!
Another role I get to ROCK is 'undiscovered teenage garage band superstar'!! I've always wanted a band ya know. Still do! Maybe I can be a front-woman. You wanna start a band? I think Sherry's problem is gonna be my same problem. I can't play an instrument! Damn it!! :/ I gotta work it out, I'm feeling some tambourine or finger cymbals maybe a little cowbell, some occasional kazoo? Okay, that's getting a little crazy...I'll have to compensate with ANGST and AGGRESSION!! Sherry is quite passionate about the SCARYOTYPES!! But, more so about the youth.....heeeeeeeeeeyyy!! Can I get a grrrrrrr!!
Real talk...What's a show without drug use? A WACK one that's the answer!! Just kidding, kinda. "Must've been high" puts me in the mind of the Beatles in the 70's. It sounds like a psychedelic trip and that's exactly what it is. This song and every song really, puts you right where you need to be. If there were no lyrics, you would still know exactly whats happening. That's magical and beautiful to me. Sitting on the balcony watching the rail rust, time slips through your fingers like angel dust. Doesn't it though?
I love this journey. I love this show. I love these characters. I really enjoy this part of the process. The music rehearsals are always so thrilling for me. We will work on one of my favorite songs tomorrow night..."May Day"! That song gets me Amp! I can't wait to see what Scott wants to do for the blocking but it looks like I'll have to wait. I'm anxious and that feeling is priceless. Ok, that's enough for now. CIAO!
Another role I get to ROCK is 'undiscovered teenage garage band superstar'!! I've always wanted a band ya know. Still do! Maybe I can be a front-woman. You wanna start a band? I think Sherry's problem is gonna be my same problem. I can't play an instrument! Damn it!! :/ I gotta work it out, I'm feeling some tambourine or finger cymbals maybe a little cowbell, some occasional kazoo? Okay, that's getting a little crazy...I'll have to compensate with ANGST and AGGRESSION!! Sherry is quite passionate about the SCARYOTYPES!! But, more so about the youth.....heeeeeeeeeeyyy!! Can I get a grrrrrrr!!
Real talk...What's a show without drug use? A WACK one that's the answer!! Just kidding, kinda. "Must've been high" puts me in the mind of the Beatles in the 70's. It sounds like a psychedelic trip and that's exactly what it is. This song and every song really, puts you right where you need to be. If there were no lyrics, you would still know exactly whats happening. That's magical and beautiful to me. Sitting on the balcony watching the rail rust, time slips through your fingers like angel dust. Doesn't it though?
I love this journey. I love this show. I love these characters. I really enjoy this part of the process. The music rehearsals are always so thrilling for me. We will work on one of my favorite songs tomorrow night..."May Day"! That song gets me Amp! I can't wait to see what Scott wants to do for the blocking but it looks like I'll have to wait. I'm anxious and that feeling is priceless. Ok, that's enough for now. CIAO!
7.26.2011
"Listening is waiting"
I am so happy to be a part of another New Line production. New Line gave me my first performance experience in my adulthood, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Needless to say I am HOOKED and I've learned: Talent + Ambition = Success !! I came into this world lost and clumsy and mildly pathetic, but hungry....like the wolf LOL!! I am so thankful and proud of my growth and development. I want to continue to foster it, harness it, cultivate it!! What a perfect opportunity to do so.
This glorious journey has finally begun and I am so ecstatic I won't dare hide it!! "Passing Strange" is musical theatre like nothing else!! EVERYONE can relate to this, ALL themes hit home. No matter what age, race, or gender you are or what home you came from. It will provoke a sincere amount of thought and emotion within you. Personally, I have never related to a show more. And no, Maureen, I'm not a 'theatre person', but I know that "Oklahoma!" and "Cats" didn't do it for me!! I never saw myself in those shows, not only as an actress but, through my eyes. I could not relate, it did not hit home. "Passing Strange" is what I couldn't imagine musical theatre could be...a personal concert!!
Every song sets the scene, you hear that catchy refrain and you are instantly propelled to a time and place. The lyrics tempt your emotions. Every style of music....gospel, jazz, r&b, rock and roll, ska, punk, funk, samba, spoken word, pop. Sound confusing? Don't worry, If your ever not sure what he's on about....JUST ASK THE SONG!! Really!! Brilliant subtlety...IN YO FACE!! You will hum along!
As a black woman, I relate. As a young person, I relate. As an artist, I relate. As a lost soul searching for 'the real', I relate. There is a line in the show that I just love, actually there are probably at least 20, but this one hit me in particular..."This is your life, and it's the only one you've got. This is your life, and there aint no way out." A life lesson stated so simply. That's one of the realest things I've ever heard. It's on my list of lyrics I'd wish I'd heard when I was 15. It makes life more 'real' than ever.
We've only just begun and my excitement is through the roof. I get to work on a regional premier with an all black cast. A rare opportunity and I'm gonna savor every moment. I get to play multiple characters in various settings. I don't sing a whole lot and so my focus will be getting down to the nitty gritty of acting. I will be vulnerable, I will be honest, I will be raw, I will be free. I want YOU to take this journey with me!! FOLLOW ME!! Watch me go from novice to amateur to experienced to proficient to inspiring to renowned!! This show is powerful, entertaining, provocative, musical theatre...just the show for New Line. I don't care if you hate all things theatrical, get ur ass to the theatre and check out this mind expanding revelation!! You WILL NOT be disappointed, you WILL be TRANSFORMED!! Is something 'real' going down? YUP!! But here's a better question....Can you handle it?
This glorious journey has finally begun and I am so ecstatic I won't dare hide it!! "Passing Strange" is musical theatre like nothing else!! EVERYONE can relate to this, ALL themes hit home. No matter what age, race, or gender you are or what home you came from. It will provoke a sincere amount of thought and emotion within you. Personally, I have never related to a show more. And no, Maureen, I'm not a 'theatre person', but I know that "Oklahoma!" and "Cats" didn't do it for me!! I never saw myself in those shows, not only as an actress but, through my eyes. I could not relate, it did not hit home. "Passing Strange" is what I couldn't imagine musical theatre could be...a personal concert!!
Every song sets the scene, you hear that catchy refrain and you are instantly propelled to a time and place. The lyrics tempt your emotions. Every style of music....gospel, jazz, r&b, rock and roll, ska, punk, funk, samba, spoken word, pop. Sound confusing? Don't worry, If your ever not sure what he's on about....JUST ASK THE SONG!! Really!! Brilliant subtlety...IN YO FACE!! You will hum along!
As a black woman, I relate. As a young person, I relate. As an artist, I relate. As a lost soul searching for 'the real', I relate. There is a line in the show that I just love, actually there are probably at least 20, but this one hit me in particular..."This is your life, and it's the only one you've got. This is your life, and there aint no way out." A life lesson stated so simply. That's one of the realest things I've ever heard. It's on my list of lyrics I'd wish I'd heard when I was 15. It makes life more 'real' than ever.
We've only just begun and my excitement is through the roof. I get to work on a regional premier with an all black cast. A rare opportunity and I'm gonna savor every moment. I get to play multiple characters in various settings. I don't sing a whole lot and so my focus will be getting down to the nitty gritty of acting. I will be vulnerable, I will be honest, I will be raw, I will be free. I want YOU to take this journey with me!! FOLLOW ME!! Watch me go from novice to amateur to experienced to proficient to inspiring to renowned!! This show is powerful, entertaining, provocative, musical theatre...just the show for New Line. I don't care if you hate all things theatrical, get ur ass to the theatre and check out this mind expanding revelation!! You WILL NOT be disappointed, you WILL be TRANSFORMED!! Is something 'real' going down? YUP!! But here's a better question....Can you handle it?
3.08.2011
"I am an ACTOR!"
When I auditioned for Two gentlemen of Verona I wanted so badly to be a part of it. I loved the story, I loved the music! I wanted in!! I thought if I played any role it would be Sylvia! I love her songs, she's sassy, she just spoke to me:) I never, ever, ever, thought I'd play Julia. Sometimes I'd skip her songs because I just didn't get it. When Scott called me to tell me that he wanted me to play Julia.....there was joy, shock, fear....overwhelming excitement!!!! I was nervous, I didn't know what to expect but I knew this was a major role. I knew I had to bring it and I didn't want to disappoint.
Julia is complex!! I remember when I didn't understand her and so I tried to make her into this character I wanted to play. Thank God for Scott!! He helped me early on and throughout by helping me discover...it's not who you want her to be, it's about learning who she really is and finding yourself within her. That hit me like a ton of bricks!! I realized that I was short-changing her by trying to glam her up and to let her be the rich, complex, interesting, emotional mess she is. It wasn't until I started relating to her that it became real.
Day by day I realized she speaks to me in so many different ways, as does Sylvia, but Julia does more so and in more challenging ways. Ways I hate to admit, ways I try to mask, deep ways. Like me, Julia is naive, defiant, a sucker for jerks, dependent upon relationships etc. It's been therapeutic to find myself through her on that stage. Julia has an intense relationship with the audience and her story is not told through song alone or even just within the text...You've got to see it!!! I am overjoyed that I get to bring her to life, a whole new life through my eyes. It makes me feel all warm inside to see people enjoy it. To know people feel for her, shake their head at her, scold her, side with her, take the journey with her.
This journey has been a blast, an intimate, developing relationship between actor and character. I have learned so much. I have been given so much great advice, the best of which was never to look like your acting because really, your not, you are living it!! That changes everything and I think as a cast we do that....well!! We have completely immersed ourselves in this wacky world. We cherish it. We adore it. We live it. It is ours!!
This is all fairly new to me. My first acting experience was on a whim. I was in high school a friend of mine was auditioning for a play and wanted me to come along. I said what the hell, memorized the monologue, performed it and wound up getting cast. After that I did a musical or two, nothing major and after high school that was that. 2010's new year's resolutions came about and one of them was to do more with my voice. My boyfriend at that time was in a men's barbershop chorus and so I joined a women's chorus and auditioned for their front line....looooooved it!! It just left me wanting more. He did theatre and so I decided to audition for some things. My first audition....New Line Theatre's Wild Party. Looking back that audition was absolutely horrendous, I sang a song out of context, tripped all over my feet, it was just bad :/ so of course I was NOT cast!! Though disappointing I didn't want to give up. I started planning better, soliciting advice, preparing and practicing and my next few auditions went well...adding fuel to the fire called passion.
When I would tell people I was an actor I would laugh a little on the inside because it never felt real to me. This role has given me the opportunity to discover and express so many emotions. It's challenged me to act from within even when you feel like a character is nothing like you. It's provided me with the priceless reward of being able to say "I am an actor!" with confidence and pride. I've taken everything I've learned from Julia to share with you all. The experience has been emotional and it's hard to explain how I feel in words, luckily I get to express it through this lovely art form and I can't draw or paint or anything artsy like that and so it's nice to take pride in my performance :) it's an inner/outer body experience that's almost tantric!!
I love the response when people talk to us after the show. You can see the joy on their faces. When I hear "fantastic performance!" from critics and especially peers it's a savory treat. As a new performer that just ROCKS MY WORLD!!! It's great to be a part of something great!! I'm so happy, so grateful, so satisfied, so ready for weekends to come :)
Julia is complex!! I remember when I didn't understand her and so I tried to make her into this character I wanted to play. Thank God for Scott!! He helped me early on and throughout by helping me discover...it's not who you want her to be, it's about learning who she really is and finding yourself within her. That hit me like a ton of bricks!! I realized that I was short-changing her by trying to glam her up and to let her be the rich, complex, interesting, emotional mess she is. It wasn't until I started relating to her that it became real.
Day by day I realized she speaks to me in so many different ways, as does Sylvia, but Julia does more so and in more challenging ways. Ways I hate to admit, ways I try to mask, deep ways. Like me, Julia is naive, defiant, a sucker for jerks, dependent upon relationships etc. It's been therapeutic to find myself through her on that stage. Julia has an intense relationship with the audience and her story is not told through song alone or even just within the text...You've got to see it!!! I am overjoyed that I get to bring her to life, a whole new life through my eyes. It makes me feel all warm inside to see people enjoy it. To know people feel for her, shake their head at her, scold her, side with her, take the journey with her.
This journey has been a blast, an intimate, developing relationship between actor and character. I have learned so much. I have been given so much great advice, the best of which was never to look like your acting because really, your not, you are living it!! That changes everything and I think as a cast we do that....well!! We have completely immersed ourselves in this wacky world. We cherish it. We adore it. We live it. It is ours!!
This is all fairly new to me. My first acting experience was on a whim. I was in high school a friend of mine was auditioning for a play and wanted me to come along. I said what the hell, memorized the monologue, performed it and wound up getting cast. After that I did a musical or two, nothing major and after high school that was that. 2010's new year's resolutions came about and one of them was to do more with my voice. My boyfriend at that time was in a men's barbershop chorus and so I joined a women's chorus and auditioned for their front line....looooooved it!! It just left me wanting more. He did theatre and so I decided to audition for some things. My first audition....New Line Theatre's Wild Party. Looking back that audition was absolutely horrendous, I sang a song out of context, tripped all over my feet, it was just bad :/ so of course I was NOT cast!! Though disappointing I didn't want to give up. I started planning better, soliciting advice, preparing and practicing and my next few auditions went well...adding fuel to the fire called passion.
When I would tell people I was an actor I would laugh a little on the inside because it never felt real to me. This role has given me the opportunity to discover and express so many emotions. It's challenged me to act from within even when you feel like a character is nothing like you. It's provided me with the priceless reward of being able to say "I am an actor!" with confidence and pride. I've taken everything I've learned from Julia to share with you all. The experience has been emotional and it's hard to explain how I feel in words, luckily I get to express it through this lovely art form and I can't draw or paint or anything artsy like that and so it's nice to take pride in my performance :) it's an inner/outer body experience that's almost tantric!!
I love the response when people talk to us after the show. You can see the joy on their faces. When I hear "fantastic performance!" from critics and especially peers it's a savory treat. As a new performer that just ROCKS MY WORLD!!! It's great to be a part of something great!! I'm so happy, so grateful, so satisfied, so ready for weekends to come :)
2.25.2011
Sebastian and Cesario.....SUCH A DRAG!!!
This show just gets funnier and funnier!!!! At first I was approaching it soooo seriously because its Shakespeare and full of extreme emotions, deep thought and all that jazz....but the minute I stepped back and started having fun with it, the more genuine it felt. The audience is in for a treat!!
Letting loose has helped me better understand how truly delusional Jules is and her fucked up relationship with Lucetta in the scene that introduces us. Lucetta and I are chums. She's a few years older and so she kind of knows what's up, kind of. She gives me all my advice on boys...what to say, what to wear how to act. She says THIS, I do THAT....I've got it together okay, I just go to Lucetta to check my answers. I've been seeing this guy proteus around the way, I think hes kinda handsome, awkward but handsome, so I ask my girl Lucetta what she thinks about me falling in love. She gives me some smart ass answer like "as long as you don't fall on your ass!" DISREGARD...."Well, what do u think of Proteus, and again smart ass reply shaking her head saying "I pity the fool", and I'm like hey now why all this when I mention Proteus... (I really just want her to elaborate with some details on Proteus)....She let's me know that he could be a good one. That's vague as hell!!! More! More! More! Why? Why? Why? Here she goes.. "Well, I have no other than a WOMAN'S reason like shes soooo much more mature, WHATEVER...and I'm like well what do u think should I play hard to get, flirt, make a move, what? Ultimate response...."Sure, make a move....If you think he won't blow you off." AAAARRRRGGGGHH.....Lucetta drives me crazy sometimes but I'll play it cool. "Well I don't care anyway because he doesn't do it for me sooo..." Lucetta "Awww but I think he's the very best one for u" She's tryin to play with my head! She always thinks she knows whats going on, that I like proteus, I'll show her!! We continue back and forth "Yea, well, he's wack! He doesn't even talk to me.".....(why why why tell me why doesn't he talk to me)...."The ones that keep quiet actually care the most.".....hmm little know it all!! "Real men show their love!" Lucetta, still shaking her head mumbles :Pssssh, girl please, the one's who rant and rave are the ones full of shit" DAMN IT, it looks like I've lost this battle.....I just wish I knew how he truly felt.
Letting loose has helped me better understand how truly delusional Jules is and her fucked up relationship with Lucetta in the scene that introduces us. Lucetta and I are chums. She's a few years older and so she kind of knows what's up, kind of. She gives me all my advice on boys...what to say, what to wear how to act. She says THIS, I do THAT....I've got it together okay, I just go to Lucetta to check my answers. I've been seeing this guy proteus around the way, I think hes kinda handsome, awkward but handsome, so I ask my girl Lucetta what she thinks about me falling in love. She gives me some smart ass answer like "as long as you don't fall on your ass!" DISREGARD...."Well, what do u think of Proteus, and again smart ass reply shaking her head saying "I pity the fool", and I'm like hey now why all this when I mention Proteus... (I really just want her to elaborate with some details on Proteus)....She let's me know that he could be a good one. That's vague as hell!!! More! More! More! Why? Why? Why? Here she goes.. "Well, I have no other than a WOMAN'S reason like shes soooo much more mature, WHATEVER...and I'm like well what do u think should I play hard to get, flirt, make a move, what? Ultimate response...."Sure, make a move....If you think he won't blow you off." AAAARRRRGGGGHH.....Lucetta drives me crazy sometimes but I'll play it cool. "Well I don't care anyway because he doesn't do it for me sooo..." Lucetta "Awww but I think he's the very best one for u" She's tryin to play with my head! She always thinks she knows whats going on, that I like proteus, I'll show her!! We continue back and forth "Yea, well, he's wack! He doesn't even talk to me.".....(why why why tell me why doesn't he talk to me)...."The ones that keep quiet actually care the most.".....hmm little know it all!! "Real men show their love!" Lucetta, still shaking her head mumbles :Pssssh, girl please, the one's who rant and rave are the ones full of shit" DAMN IT, it looks like I've lost this battle.....I just wish I knew how he truly felt.
I'm soo confused!!! Lucetta didn't give me anything but some smart ass answers!! Should I like him? Does he like me? What's his motive? Is he full of shit?
Well, speak of the devil, here comes Proteus walking all grandeously down those stairs...what is he up to?...He's planning to write a symphony, what the hell, this dude runs when he sees me, why would he write a symphony for me? Hmmmm....Lucetta, are you in on this B.S.?....Aaaawww he's so cute, no he's not he's weird, he just said he wanted to make you immortal....creepy!!! I'm soooo confused right now!!!! Why all of a sudden......what the hell....did he gather a choir!! This can't be real....he's full of shit!! Just like all the rest!!! Lucetta always thinks she's right....I'll show both of them!!!! I'm gonna rip this letter to pieces.....HA Lucetta, HA HA choir, HA HA HA Proteus!!!
Wow, he looks so heartbroken.....now I'm mega confused. Lucetta asks if I'm just gonna leave the papers there...I want her out of my sight!!!! I'm all kinds of confused right now, I don't know what to do, all I know is that the last thing I want to hear is her talking shit, so I send her away. I'm pissed off, I look like an ass, and I've got it together, I know what I'm doing! I got this, I don't need any boy, especially an awkwardly handsome vampire lover!!
That's just one of the silly scenarios I put myself through on this wild ride!! Those introducing scenes help me understand Julia deeply..... Julia and I are practically twins!! We are both incredibly silly individuals who learn life's lessons the hard way. Julia, Julia, Julia......I'm young, I'm naive, I'm annoying, I'm defiant, I'm oblivious, I'm irrational, I'm heartbroken, I'm betrayed, I'm immature I'm abandoned, I'm metamorphosed......I'm Julia and I'm in love with Proteus!!!! And I go through a shit-ton of hell... ALL FOR LOVE!!!
I am Sebastian....for love.
Oh Sebastian....you crazy, grumpy, fat little man!! But you're lucky because you get to see things for what they really are, whether you want to or not!!! And that's life at it's best and worst all at once...can you handle that? It's a good thing you've got caesario with you otherwise youd be done for. We are brothers, we are friends, up until the day eternity ends :)
I am honestly in love with this character. So grateful for the opportunity to play Julia/Sebastian. To express so many raw emotions and be silly and sing and dance!!! This has evolved my love of performing and has opened my eyes to so many different choices and paths to take when I'm up there on that stage. It's magical to simultaneously lose yourself and connect yourself to the art you produce!!!
HELL WEEK is upon us....this is when it comes ALIVE!!! All of the performance enhancers will be in play. All of the quirks will be worked through. All of the focus, all of the passion, all the precision, all the magic and then the final touch....the AUDIENCE!!! Well, we are magicians and they came for magic.....let us metamorphose!!
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