Letting loose has helped me better understand how truly delusional Jules is and her fucked up relationship with Lucetta in the scene that introduces us. Lucetta and I are chums. She's a few years older and so she kind of knows what's up, kind of. She gives me all my advice on boys...what to say, what to wear how to act. She says THIS, I do THAT....I've got it together okay, I just go to Lucetta to check my answers. I've been seeing this guy proteus around the way, I think hes kinda handsome, awkward but handsome, so I ask my girl Lucetta what she thinks about me falling in love. She gives me some smart ass answer like "as long as you don't fall on your ass!" DISREGARD...."Well, what do u think of Proteus, and again smart ass reply shaking her head saying "I pity the fool", and I'm like hey now why all this when I mention Proteus... (I really just want her to elaborate with some details on Proteus)....She let's me know that he could be a good one. That's vague as hell!!! More! More! More! Why? Why? Why? Here she goes.. "Well, I have no other than a WOMAN'S reason like shes soooo much more mature, WHATEVER...and I'm like well what do u think should I play hard to get, flirt, make a move, what? Ultimate response...."Sure, make a move....If you think he won't blow you off." AAAARRRRGGGGHH.....Lucetta drives me crazy sometimes but I'll play it cool. "Well I don't care anyway because he doesn't do it for me sooo..." Lucetta "Awww but I think he's the very best one for u" She's tryin to play with my head! She always thinks she knows whats going on, that I like proteus, I'll show her!! We continue back and forth "Yea, well, he's wack! He doesn't even talk to me.".....(why why why tell me why doesn't he talk to me)...."The ones that keep quiet actually care the most.".....hmm little know it all!! "Real men show their love!" Lucetta, still shaking her head mumbles :Pssssh, girl please, the one's who rant and rave are the ones full of shit" DAMN IT, it looks like I've lost this battle.....I just wish I knew how he truly felt.
I'm soo confused!!! Lucetta didn't give me anything but some smart ass answers!! Should I like him? Does he like me? What's his motive? Is he full of shit?
Well, speak of the devil, here comes Proteus walking all grandeously down those stairs...what is he up to?...He's planning to write a symphony, what the hell, this dude runs when he sees me, why would he write a symphony for me? Hmmmm....Lucetta, are you in on this B.S.?....Aaaawww he's so cute, no he's not he's weird, he just said he wanted to make you immortal....creepy!!! I'm soooo confused right now!!!! Why all of a sudden......what the hell....did he gather a choir!! This can't be real....he's full of shit!! Just like all the rest!!! Lucetta always thinks she's right....I'll show both of them!!!! I'm gonna rip this letter to pieces.....HA Lucetta, HA HA choir, HA HA HA Proteus!!!
Wow, he looks so heartbroken.....now I'm mega confused. Lucetta asks if I'm just gonna leave the papers there...I want her out of my sight!!!! I'm all kinds of confused right now, I don't know what to do, all I know is that the last thing I want to hear is her talking shit, so I send her away. I'm pissed off, I look like an ass, and I've got it together, I know what I'm doing! I got this, I don't need any boy, especially an awkwardly handsome vampire lover!!
That's just one of the silly scenarios I put myself through on this wild ride!! Those introducing scenes help me understand Julia deeply..... Julia and I are practically twins!! We are both incredibly silly individuals who learn life's lessons the hard way. Julia, Julia, Julia......I'm young, I'm naive, I'm annoying, I'm defiant, I'm oblivious, I'm irrational, I'm heartbroken, I'm betrayed, I'm immature I'm abandoned, I'm metamorphosed......I'm Julia and I'm in love with Proteus!!!! And I go through a shit-ton of hell... ALL FOR LOVE!!!
I am Sebastian....for love.
Oh Sebastian....you crazy, grumpy, fat little man!! But you're lucky because you get to see things for what they really are, whether you want to or not!!! And that's life at it's best and worst all at once...can you handle that? It's a good thing you've got caesario with you otherwise youd be done for. We are brothers, we are friends, up until the day eternity ends :)
I am honestly in love with this character. So grateful for the opportunity to play Julia/Sebastian. To express so many raw emotions and be silly and sing and dance!!! This has evolved my love of performing and has opened my eyes to so many different choices and paths to take when I'm up there on that stage. It's magical to simultaneously lose yourself and connect yourself to the art you produce!!!
HELL WEEK is upon us....this is when it comes ALIVE!!! All of the performance enhancers will be in play. All of the quirks will be worked through. All of the focus, all of the passion, all the precision, all the magic and then the final touch....the AUDIENCE!!! Well, we are magicians and they came for magic.....let us metamorphose!!
I DO pity the fool. :)))
ReplyDeleteand my darling, Julia! <3 hahhaa, Lucetta does know best. That's why I convince you to dress in drag and sucker-punch that stupid ass Proteus in the gut. You get him in the end...and of course I knew that was going to happen! LOL